Is the age difference a concern for Ukrainian Women?

Dear Krystyna,

Thank you for a great blog, I happend to stumple over it while googling for the mindset of young Ukrainian women, and your clear language on the site is very rare when searching on this subject.

I have only very recently registered on Anastasia. The responces to my listing have been overwhelming I must say, and have completely taking me with major surprise. In the first month I have stopped counting the letters all these nice women send me, when the count reached 400+

Is the responcelevel really that high?, or have I written something that hit most Ukrainian women’s interest?… I’m very pussled over this… here in Denmark I havent ever had any real interest from women in general, besides they all think I’m a plessant and good friend at best.

However, after a little dissapointment with one lady I was writing a responce to, to her first letter, and after that got a strange message that she wanted a “real relationship not correspondence“?! (let me just know you a little better first my dear :-), I was about to delete my profile again, besides the many responces, I couldnt really find a woman that “ticked all my boxes”.

A week later, I gave it a shot more and thought that I actively needed to do a better effort in my search, before I leave the site. I was still lonely and still wanted to find my soulmate, so at least I could try, right?…

I have just past 40 years young, have unfortunally no kids yet, so I wanted to find a lady who was younger than me and without kids of her own yet (I have raised my exwifes 3 kids from her former mariage), and have so set the “age preferrence” to between 20 – 30, even though 20 is a bit low for me. I wouldnt however miss out on the perfect one, just because of the age…

Whenever I login to Anastasia, I usually have a constant of 2-7 chatinvitations from ladys, and that continue until I logoff again, so I need to minimize the windows, otherwize the whole of my right side of the screen cant be read. I know most would see this as an advantage, but I actually thought its a bit annoying.

I’m getting to the point now ;-), one day a chatinvitation cought my eye, “I have seen your profile, and think we could be right for eachother” – something made me feel a connection with this lady just by seeing her message and picture – and I checked out the lady’s profile and was very interested straight on.

For the first time I initiated a chat on Anastasia, not really sure how it worked, I managed to get a simple message through to her, and my heart missed a beat when she responded, what a thrill!.

We instantly connected with similar views on the world, life, and a lot of other stuff which I wont bore you to death with :-), just tell you that I promissed to send her a letter, which was send the same night.

A long story short, we have been mailing back and forward a couple of times now, and I’m now arranging for a visit to Odessa on my own speed, since I’m only going to meet her and see how we connect, and if we do connect at all. The social tours from Anastasia remind me of a meetmarket, and even though many men would love this, it just dosnt appeal to me.

The issue here is that she is only 20 years old, and I’m a little concerned that she is still to unexperienced in real life, and that could give some issues and difficulties.

Here in Denmark a relationship with such an age difference would be looked upon as me being almost phediofile, so that concerns me a bit. I have read that its more normal in Ukraine that the women find older men, but that an age gap on 20 years is still much.

I have no real problem with her being as young as she is, I believe that love has no age, but it still concerns me a bit though, but that could be based in difference in cultures maybe. A young woman as her, wont she have an urge to have fun with friends, party in town, and generally have different priorities before she wish to settle with a family of her own?, and I’m trying to understand what mindset a young woman like her has?!… can you advice me on that?, I cant really find anything usable anywhere…

During some of our very long chatsessions on Anastasia, which is f****** expensive I must say (I have used over $1.000 in less than 2 weeks), I have tried to get her to understand that I’m comming to see her, but she isnt very understanding for the fact that it will take a month before I arrive, I have a job that I need to attend, and which I just cant leave from one day to another.

Anastasia Date

Furthermore, I have for various reasons a little issue releasing enough funds in my properties to just throw myself into a plane and take off, so a trip needs to be carefully planned for me. She is as said a little unhappy about that fact, and dont seem to understand it completely, so I hope you can tell me a little more about the mindset of a young woman!, is she uninterested?, or is she just disappointet that I cant be there with her right now?.

Do I got anything to worry about you think?, or is it just because she is as young as she is??. And another important thing of course, how is the age-gap looked upon in Ukraine?, and in the minds of young women as her?.

I dont really know if she corresponds with other men, but she has promissed me to guide me around town when I arrive, and that we will see eachother every day during my 2 week stay, just to get to know eachother better. Shu studies, and therefore needs to attend her school also in daytime.

I really hope you can help me here, I will streach my budget a bit here just to go see her, so any help would be greatly appreciated.

Frank

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I wrote a few articles about the age difference dillema in a Ukrainian-Western relationship. Furthermore, I often get messages from my readers in which they ask me why younger Ukrainian women are not able or show no interest to understand them.

In my opinion, the answer is simple: because they are young gils and have no (or very little) experience. The girls at the age 20 years old do not know the world of relationships – they do not know what responsibility, compromises, security and understanding mean.

Younger girls want to make a successful career at the age of 18-25 y.o. and enjoy their young life without any problems. They want to go to parties, spend their time with friends, shopping, girl evenings….. You can see (almost) everywhere (in America, Germany, Italy, Denmark and in Ukraine, as well) that younger girls do not want a serious relationship; instead they dream to make a cool career and have a funny life…

young Ukraine girl

I have to mention that men are usually older than women in a Ukrainian relationship. But we talk about 5-10 years, not 20 years. There are happy exceptions, but the relationships with big age difference will always have problems because the partners come from different generations, they have different priorities in life and different family values​​.

You should not expect so much from your first meeting with this woman in Odessa. I would be very happy if you can start a relationship together. But I must honestly say that the women at this age are just immature for a serious relationship. I know this because I was 20 y.o. 10 years ago and was not able to have a serious relationship with a man. Of course, there are exceptions when 18 year old girls are ready to become a wife and mother.

You’ll find your dream woman from Ukraine with whom you will be happy. But I would give you one piece of advice: look for a 30-year-old woman because the women at this age want (or better to say, are mature for) a serious relationship. They give you warmth and safety; they are ready to find compromises with you and are not so selfish as younger girls.

My last advice for today: STOP CHATTING AT ANASTASIA!!! It is really very expensive. You can use skype for chatting. Just ask your lady for her skype account and let’s go! 🙂


krystyna

Krystyna

Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)

Love,

Krystyna

Ukrainian Dating Blog

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna is a Russian and Ukrainian dating blogger and Youtube video coach. On Ukrainian dating blog, you find more than 500 articles on dating Russian and Ukrainian ladies. Enjoy! No time to look for specific information or article? Check my “Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies”. The guide offers you useful tips you must follow on your adventure to find your special Ukrainian woman for marriage. For more info, just click HERE

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3 Responses

  1. Rick says:

    Frank,

    A couple of other comments: If you are to going to the Ukraine for two weeks, please be aware that much of your time will be spent alone. Your lady goes to school, and will have other commitments that distract her. I don’t think it is a sign of insincerity, but simply that she expects to be courted (my interpretation) as if you lived there. No matter how much you explain your personal sacrifice to come and see her, she is unlikely to perceive it the way you do. Basically, this is part of what men should do for a woman they are interested in. So a few hours a day may be all you get to spend with her.

    Secondly, you will almost certainly be paying to have an interpreter with her each time you see her…at least for the first while. This is common, and expensive (which is to say, it adds up quickly).

    Third, you will be buying a lot of meals (for three of you), and if you haven’t done this before, it may feel recklessly inconsiderate. Again, chalk it up to a cultural differences, but this is simply expected.

    Krystyna posted a blog about the expense of dating and marrying a Ukrainian woman. It was a good start, but in my opinion she covered only the minimum you are likely to pay. I’m not trying to discourage you Frank, but just want you to have your eyes wide open so that you are not devastated by your own expectations on a ‘first meeting’, which ultimately is all this is.

    These issues exist irrespective of age issues, which depend at least a little on you as a person, and her as a person (though Krystyna’s advice is typically optimistic, so I would consider her words carefully).

    My recommendation, for what it’s worth, is to go for a weekend. You are relatively close. Grab a cheap flight, don’t take more than a day off, and go see her for a few hours. She will be available (she won’t be in school on the weekend), and you will have a chance to find out if you connect for a fraction of the cost. Plus you will return home and be able to build up the creative tension if you do connect, and plan a longer trip. Or perhaps she will even come and see you in the summer.

    Finally Frank, I have one last piece of advice. If you are going to have a relationship with a young girl, then you have to get your head wrapped around it before you commit to her. I realize that you are not there yet, but I’m a guy too, and I can ‘hear’ in your letter that you are already getting swept up in the romance of the potential. However, if you are going to be ashamed of your relationship, in any country, to your family, your friends or to strangers, then you are committing a folly that alone will result in the destruction of your relationship. And it will deeply hurt another person in the process. And right now, she can probably attract anyone she wants, so be careful. If you go down that road, you have a responsibility to make it the best road possible for both of you.

  2. Rick says:

    I forgot to say good luck! All of the seriousness aside, isn’t it an amazing world? A beautiful gal from the Ukraine is interested in meeting you…how cool is that?

  3. Larry says:

    Hi Frank,

    Welcome to join this adventure! I discover this blog too late. I use the same dating site as you do and I wasted much more than you do. Without sufficient research, I had my first trip to Ukraine and I made most of the mistakes people mentioned on this blog.

    First of all, I would like to asked if you ever chat with your lady with live feed. I have been chatting with beautiful pictures and being stood up by three faked ladies. Yes, the letter and chats are very promising but they will never show up because those who chatting and writing to you are probably site staffs.

    Let’s assume your lady is real. She did not sympathize your difficulties. I read from some site that some ladies meeting foreign man as a life style. The chat with you to practice English. If you see them in person, they would bring you to very expensive restaurant. I spend over $2000 just on restaurant bills in that trip. Therefore, I would advice you that you must took control of which restaurant. Don’t feel bad about this. For first meeting, insist to go to cafe and you are not hungry at all. If she angry about this, you know what kind of lady you met. Don’t fall into the trap when she told you she want the first date to be romantic and in a nice restaurant.

    If your lady is decent and know some English, she would agree to continue the meeting or the next meeting without interpreter. The bonding would only grow without interpreter. If she insist on interpreter, no matter for what reason, the relationship will not flourish. If you agree to continue with interpreter, you will end up in bowling center, pub with American pool/English snooker, karaoke etc. where you paid the interpreter to play with you without doing any translation. The lady might bring along with a friend as interpreter and split the money.

    Also, ask for phone number, email, skype etc. If she is a decent lady and she like you, she will be happy to give it to you. What is likely to happen when you ask for her number is that she will said she have no credit on her phone, please give her your number and she will call you later.

    At the end of meeting, she might ask for couple hundreds local money for taxi. As advised by Krystyna, decent lady will not ask for taxi money. So, it is up to you to pay or not but if she is not a decent lady, you might be better save that money as well.

    Finally, don’t have unrealistic expectation. There would not be any intimate actions.

    I learn my lesson the hard way and hope would have better luck.

    Regards,
    Larry

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