Less is more: four Ukrainian online dating things you should avoid
From your personal experience, you definitely know dating a girl from a country like Ukraine is (a bit) different from dating a girl from the US. There’re a few things that you need to think about when you’re writing that first letter. Let’s take a look at some of the more important things not to do or write about in your Ukrainian adventure!
1. Less is more: how to impress a Ukrainian lady
One important thing I’ve learned is that it’s really easy to go overboard when trying to impress a woman from Eastern Europe. I’ve known guys who’ve sent out lots of photos of the things they own in that first letter, never to hear back from that particular woman again.
One of the things you need to understand is the mindset of a woman looking to move from Ukraine to the West. Sure, she’s looking for a better life, but she’s also going to be wary of someone who’s trying to impress her with all the things they own. She’ll want to feel that you’re going to treat her well, not like one of your possessions. If you’re doing OK with your life, with a good job, a nice home and such, that’s OK to mention, but don’t go on about it too much. Less is more, definitely.
2. Less is more: do not use the English of William Shakespeare in your messages
Pay attention to what kind of language you use. I don’t mean clean versus suggestive, I mean what level of English you use. Remember, it’s not that long ago that one in every ten teachers in the communist countries taught Russian. English is only now being taught regularly, and, honestly, some of the teachers there aren’t that good. (I should know, I taught there! :))
You’re not going to know how much English a woman is going to understand beyond the basics. She may well have gotten help writing her information, so you can’t always go by what you read. My advice is to stay away from slang and idioms and stick to a simple, clear style of writing. At the same time, you don’t want to make it too simple so that you come off sounding like you’re talking down to a child. Avoid really simple sentences like “I have a nice house. It is very big.” as that will seem condescending.
3. Less is more: use her (difficult) Ukrainian/Russian name less but correctly
A more general point is to make sure you use the woman’s name a few times throughout your letter. Doing this will make it a lot more personal for her, and you’re much more likely to get a positive reaction. However, please make sure you’re spelling her name correctly at all times.
Some Ukrainian names can be difficult, so it’s really important to check what you’ve written. Also, if you’re using a form letter, please make sure you’re using the right name for each person. Getting her name wrong won’t win you any prizes that are for sure.
4. Less is more: the word is silver but silence is gold (Russian proverb)
Don’t try and persuade the woman that any other guys she hears from aren’t worth her time. In fact, don’t mention other guys at all. Stick to talking about yourself and your hopes for your relationship with her (keep it light, though).
Also, don’t bring up any negatives, like a messy divorce or any issues you’re having in your life right now. Don’t go on about details of your work, and don’t mention any health problems you have. You might want to bring these up later in the relationship, of course, but not in that first letter. Don’t scare her off.
Finally, don’t mention anything about your successes or failures with dating, either online or personally, – especially if those women come from Ukraine! 🙂 Avoid mentioning other women completely. Boasting about your conquests will only get you a rejection note.
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)