Tips how to react if a Ukrainian or Russian bride asks you for money
After months, or years, of searching you found a woman from Ukraine that you think might be the one! Your potential Ukrainian bride is obviously someone you are interested in and someone that you are developing feelings for. With such emotions in play it easy to want the best for this woman.
Making her life easier, showing her that you can provide for her, offering to ease her burdens prior to the marriage may all cross your mind. But, what do you do when your Ukrainian bride asks you for money prior to the marriage? It’s a situation that many men face in the world of Russian and Ukrainian (rather: International) online dating.
Two possible scenarios
There are two scenarios that must be addressed if a Russian and Ukrainian bride asks for money.
The first scenario is one where you have already met and visited with your Russian and Ukrainian woman face-to-face. You have spent time together. You know her as a person, you know her surroundings, her culture, and to some extent, both her values and economic situation.
The second scenario, which will be discussed later, is one where you have not yet met your prospective bride from Ukraine or Russia. So far, interactions with this woman have been over the internet, the phone, and possibly via snail mail. The only things you know about this woman is what she has told you and you have no way to verify her claims.
Scenario #1: if you have met the woman in person and she asks you for money…
If you have met your bride in Ukraine or Russia, and are convinced she is the one, having a Ukrainian woman ask you for money must be looked at on an individual case. Have you asked this woman to quit her job to learn English or focus on some other task that is important to you? Are you aware of any special circumstances, ones that you were able to observe and verify during your visit that could be causing a legitimate hardship?
In such cases there is a simple litmus test that you can rely on the help make your decision. Since you already know her culture, if her fiance were a local, would he be likely to pitch in and help? And, if your bride was in the same country as you, what would you be doing in the same situation?
Some suggestions if you find yourself wanting to help. If your bride quit her job in order to take English classes to make communication easier? Offer to pay for the classes and perhaps a stipend to subsidize her lost wages. If she needs money for a plane ticket here to visit, buy the ticket, or a portion of it, without sending her cash.
If she or a family member needs medical care, pay for it directly with the provider. In these ways you are certain that the money is going directly to the need at hand and cannot be misappropriated. However, if you implicitly trust your foreign bride, sending cash is ultimately your decision. Just be aware that many men have been scammed out of considerable funds under such circumstances.
Scenario #2: if you have not yet met the woman in person and she asks you for money…
If however, you have not yet met the Ukrainian and Russian woman who is asking for money, proceed with extreme caution. While there may be legitimate need there, it is not your responsibility to provide for this woman.
Additionally, many online scams and internet fraud programs operate in just such a fashion to take advantage of unsuspecting men. If you truly believe a potential foreign is legitimate, tell her the only way you would consider such a request is to meet in person, face to face, first. Afterwards, all the caveats previously mentioned apply.
The most common reasons to ask money are following:
- money problems (the woman promises of course to return your money to you soon) My note: in Ukrainian culture, it’s not appropriate to ask a stranger you’ve never met to give money to you if you have a money problem. So you have not to help the woman in this case.
- a Ukrainian and Russian woman wants to study English (or your native language)
- illness (She/her mother/father/children is/are ill). My note: in Ukrainian culture, it’s not appropriate to ask a stranger you’ve never met to help you. So you have not to help the woman in this case.
In conclusion, I want to mention that most sincere Ukrainian and Russian brides will not have a sense of entitlement. They will be interested in you as a person and not for what you have in your wallet. While marriage to you will greatly enhance this woman’s future as your wife, you do not want to be involved with a woman whose affections needed to be purchased in advance. That’s not love in a local relationship and it’s certainly not love in a long distance one.
Three simple tips how to react if a Ukrainian or Russian bride asks you for money:
- make an Internet research (so you can find out if she is a scam or not)
- tell her that you have not to pay for her English classes, etc. and ask for her opinion if it’s not appropriate in Ukrainian culture to ask a stranger you’ve never met to give money to you
- tell her that it is important to meet each other in person and then you can decide if the relationship can work or not as well as you wish to support her financially.
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)