What to do if my Ukrainian girl asks for money?

Krystyna,

I feel sick right now. I’m disappointed 🙁 Is there any woman in this world that I can trust?

Remember the 20 year old Ukrainian girl that I told you about; whom I met here in Hawaii that I told you changed the way I looked at women?

Well, I have bad news. First, she’s in China studying at a university in Hangzhou, China. It’s a huge university with over 42,000 students. Anyway, I got the below email from her which nearly broke my heart and makes me wonder if there’s any women, both old or young, that I can truly trust. Furthermore, I’m beginning to wonder if my kindness is more of a handicap to me than it should be.

I knew that ALL women are the same everywhere in the world by their very nature. But, I thought that at least my chances of meeting a Ukrainian lady would be more of my worthwhile. The email below just breaks my heart and goes to show me that my first intuition was correct, that is it doesn’t matter if the woman is Ukrainian or not all women think of security as a financial package.

Here’s the email from Helen below:

Hello Hilton

No, don’t worry about that. it wasn’t too much. I also want you to express your feelings. And you will see how do I express my feelings to you 😉

And yes, I will have the same address here in summer time. Why would you ask me this? 🙂

Hilton, remember you told me, if I will need help I can ask you for it? So now I will ask you for it. I need to borrow 700$ from you 🙂 Don’t worry it’s nothing serious, I just have to pay for next 3 months in the dormitory. Right now I can’t ask my parents to do that. I ask you to do that because you told me that I can rely in any situation. If you cannot do this, it’s ok. I will find other way.

Krystyna, as you can see she asked me for $700. Sure I can give her that and a hundred times more. But the fact that she asked me for it to begin with is heart ranching because she should have planned way ahead in advance how much she would have needed in order to take care of her dormitory needs.

What’s more frightening is the fact that she seems so sincere. I’ve now known her for 8 months and we’ve been emailing back and forth for 8 months and this is the first time she has remotely even asked me for anything. Her message about her parents seems to be sincere. But, then my mind goes back to seeing all those messages from scammers. Mind you, Krystyna, I have not seen her in 8 months.

But, now I’m having second and third thoughts especially after becoming more educated from your board.

What is your opinion of what you think you would do, if you were me right now in this situation?

Thanks,

Mahalo from Hawaii….

Hilton

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Krystyna answers:

Krystyna

Krystyna

Hi Hilton,

I understand that you feel frustrated and you cannot trust anyone. However, do not take everything to heart. First of all, you don’t know her situation exactly (maybe the parents cannot really help her; it may be difficult for her to find a job in China in order to pay the dormitory, etc.). You write that you have had contact since eight moths and this mail is the first mail in which she asks you for money. If she were a scammer, she would not wait for 8 months to ask you for money.

Of course, there is great risk that she won’t probably give you the money back. I personally do not know this girl, so I cannot tell you if she will give you $700 back or not. If you doubt this, do not borrow $700. You write that she should have planned way ahead in advance how much she would have needed in order to take care of her dormitory needs. Hilton, she is only 20 years old and that means that the girl has never earned her own money, has lived with her parents and enjoyed her young life. You should not expect great seriousness and responsibility from her. Most of 20 year old girls are very frivolous and do not plan anything.

Ukrainian women

Ukrainian women

To your question: If you were me right now in this situation, I would not send money to the person with whom I have only online communication. I borrow my money only to the persons I know very well. I have gained negative experiences with that. But do not think that every woman is the same and they are just for your money. It is not true. And I said you before that you will be disappointed in younger women. In my opinion, 20 y.o. women are not the option for you (Note: Hilton is 40 y.o.).

Learn about an age gap in a Ukrainian/Russian-Western relationship:

(1) Dating Survey: the age difference in Russian/Ukrainian-Western relationships

(2) Is the age difference a concern for Ukrainian Women?


krystyna

krystyna

Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)

Love,

Krystyna

Ukrainian Dating Blog

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Hilton comments Krystyna’s advice:

Krystyna, I believe that you are 100% correct. Based on my experience, dealing with this young lady, I can very well say that I would definitely be disappointed with a younger woman. I now believe, based on my experience and of course with your help that a younger woman will not be of any help to me.

So, I will definitely take your advice and look for more mature women (25 years old to 35 year old range) who has real world experience in life and who is mature. Krystyna, I have also spoken to Michael about my situation and told him that every other day I go to both your site and his site to see what I can learn.

Michael from the Mordinson marriage agency pretty much told me the same thing you told me. So, now I know what to look for and what to do. I do not want to make any major mistakes so that’s why I love getting your real world advice on serious matters of the heart 🙂

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna is a Russian and Ukrainian dating blogger and Youtube video coach. On Ukrainian dating blog, you find more than 500 articles on dating Russian and Ukrainian ladies. Enjoy! No time to look for specific information or article? Check my “Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies”. The guide offers you useful tips you must follow on your adventure to find your special Ukrainian woman for marriage. For more info, just click HERE

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2 Responses

  1. James says:

    Hello Krystyna,

    I hope you are well, and your life is on track for more success.

    I have read some of the questions people ask you and it never ceases to amaze me.

    The seemingly simple things to one person are a complete mystery to others.
    I can only say this, many women are looking for happiness, however it may reveal itself to them, in the form of security, money, food, clothes, whatever it is that the women wants. Love, understanding, a friend, a lover, whatever it may be, a husband, each couple must be prepared for anything, and sometimes, everything.

    I speak from my experience and I must say again for the record, all of these women are beautiful and adorable at the same time. Most of the women I have met have profected this life style with a few exceptions. These women are irrisistable and make no mistake, can take you to the cleaners if you are completely blinded by their beauty.

    I have one friend who has been trying to find the right one for many years now and all that happpens is he is disappointed again. He has a false image of what a women should be and looks, like many men, to date a women much younger.

    I have a beautiful Russian wife who lived in the Ukraine most of her life. She is the most beautiful person I have ever met. I feel sorry for all the other men out there who are experiencing the downside to finding their other half in this world. I have seen many questionable situations in the time it took to find my bride.

    What I wish to say is this, keep looking for the one, she is out there, she is waiting for you. I met a women the other day while having lunch with a few friends. She was all smiles when she crossed the street. It was an outside cafe. She looked at all of us at the Bistro sitting and said with a big smile, “I just got married today!” She was about 50 years and looked fantastic with the biggest smile on her face.

    I wish to say to all of the people in love who read Krystyna’s Blog, good luck to all newlyweds and work everyday on making it better for tomorrow. My lovely wife and myself have been married for over 6 months now and love every second we are together, we are blessed.

    All the best,
    James from America

  2. nathan from USA says:

    Yes their are scammers out thier. But remember, these women are from a poor country. The American dollar can make miracles in the Ukraine. 1 USD is usually equal to aboyt 8.15 Ukraine dollars. These ladies do not live a easy life. Many work hard jobs 6 days a week, with little pay for their efforts. Dont judge them to harshly!! Besides, what lady does not like to go to Dinner and buy nice cloths!!

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