A few important questions about the first meeting with a Ukrainian woman

Dear Krystyna,

I have read some of your blogs and would like some advice from you as it is becoming bit difficult to navigate the long distance relationship.

I have been in email communication with a girl from Ukraine. After six months of communication. I have decided to visit her and meet her parents. However she insists that I should not travel to her place and save money instead. When I planned to visit she said that according to statistics there are 40% of foreigners coming to Ukraine become victim of criminal cases and all this happens because people do not listen to what they are told. The she says that she does not want frighten me and just wants me to know that she cares for my safety and that she guarantee to protect me

According to her understanding, if a man is insisting to come to meet the girl then that man is not serious in relationship. A serious man will invite his woman on travel visa to his country and make everything possible to get his beloved close to him. A lot of men come to Ukraine for fun and a serious person will not travel and not spend money on travel but think about future and not the present as this seems to be the right approach. Then she gives examples of two girls she know from her town who went to travel visa to their beloved man and their men did not visit Ukraine. They had their passports, and then just bought the tour to visit their men.

Also she says that she would like to come to my country to live where she has never been or seen my country, have never seen my style and way of living in UK and so she needs to spend time with me and then will decide if we can become life partners and if she decided to get married then it should be done in my country and insists that a man who is serious will do everything to bring the girl to his home.

ukraine

I do not understand why she is resisting me not to meet her in her home country and why I should not get introduced to her parents. I have been sending her 20 dollars for correspondence. Although she claims to be a newly graduate children doctor but says salary in Ukraine are were low for doctors say 150 dollar.

She does not have bank account as only rich people in Ukraine have accounts and rest of people get salary in cash. Also she does not have an international passport which required in Ukraine for people to travel besides their national passport. And she suggests that I should get the international passport first and then invite her to me country.

I shall greatly appreciate your suggestions on the above points.

Looking forward to your response.

Many Thanks

Fareed

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Krystyna answers:

Krystyna

Krystyna

Dear Fareed,

Frankly, I have never heard of such arguments as your woman says. And I do not even know what to reply to her arguments. The logic of your woman is, as for me, a little strange. From my experience, I would mention that in general, Western men come to Ukraine to meet a woman for the first time in person, and not vice versa. The women feel more comfortable in their own country because not every woman has traveled abroad or can speak a foreign language. Thus, the first meeting takes place in Ukraine and then you can decide if she goes to UK next time or you will come to Ukraine again.

Let’s analyze her arguments in more detail:

(1) When I planned to visit she said that according to statistics there are 40% of foreigners coming to Ukraine become victim of criminal cases and all this happens because people do not listen to what they are told. The she says that she does not want frighten me and just wants me to know that she cares for my safety and that she guarantee to protect me.

I found following information on the Ukrainian Internet: “According to Deputy Foreign Minister Viktor Maiko, Ukraine may not be called a dangerous country for foreign tourists. For example, no case of racism was fixed during the European Football Championship in Ukraine”.

Source: http://1tv.com.ua/ru/specialnews/2013/06/18/17292 (in Russian, you can use Google Translator for understanding the whole article).

In addition, hundreds of foreign men come to Ukraine in search of a Ukrainian wife, and as far as I know, they come back to their home country without being robbed or scammed. If you are not cautious, you can be robbed or scammed also in a Western country like UK, Germany, France, or Italy. So, I do not agree with your woman.

May I ask you in what town/city in Ukraine your woman lives? You can offer that you meet in Kiev for example. Kiev is one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, is very modern and safe for foreigners, and you can spend a very nice weekend together. E.g. I was two years ago with my German husband in Kiev and he was impressed by this city.

(2) According to her understanding, if a man is insisting to come to meet the girl then that man is not serious in relationship. A serious man will invite his woman on travel visa to his country and make everything possible to get his beloved close to him. A lot of  men come to Ukraine for fun and a serious person will not travel and not spend money on travel but think about future and not the present as this seems to be the right approach. Then she give examples of two girls she know from her town who went to travel visa to their beloved man and their men did not visit Ukraine. They had their passports, then just bought the tour to visit their men.

I do not agree with this statement. A serious man will come to Ukraine to meet a woman, her friends and family. A serious man will also invite a woman to visit him in his home country. The both points are important and it is really hard and strange for me if she says that a man has serious intentions if only he invites a woman to visit his home country. Otherwise, he wants only to play with the woman. It is a really absolute nonsense! I have experienced that men come to Ukraine to meet a woman and start a serious relationship with her after that. Or also a woman comes e.g. to Germany to meet a man  for the first time.

In my opinion, it is important that you come to Ukraine to see her lifestyle, friends and family. Otherwise, it is also important that the woman comes to you to UK to see how you live there.

There are a few adventures if a woman comes to UK to visit you:

  1. By bringing her to his country to visit, the man can determine if the Ukrainian woman for marriage is ready to leave her country of birth for his.
  2. You will have the chance to be together completely alone, which is the best way to see if your personalities click. You gain a taste of what it’s like living with someone with foreign habits, at least until she becomes more westernized.
  3. Even though some Western men want to meet a Ukrainian or Russian woman in her own natural setting, it is best to see how she reacts in a new one.

(3) Although she claims to be a newly graduate children doctor but says salary in Ukraine are were low for doctors say 150 dollar. She does not have bank account as only  rich people in Ukraine have accounts and rest of people get salary in cash. Also she does not have an international passport which required in Ukraine for people to travel besides their national passport. and suggest that I should get the international passport first and then invite her to me country.

It is true that doctors in Ukraine really earn very little. And it is also true that most people in Ukraine have no bank accounts and get their salary still in cash. As I understand, your woman is expecting that you pay the fees for her International passport (about $100-150) and tickets to UK, isn’t she? Because she has no money for that.

Well, if I were you, I would react to this request with caution. The money is not very big, but it is still risk that if you send money to her, she will disappear. If I were you, I would suggest her to meet first in Kiev to see if you like each other and want to develop your communication. Then you can decide if you want to invite her to UK and help her financially in this case. You can explain your arguments and say about numerous cases of online dating scam.

I hope I could help you!


krystyna

krystyna

Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)

Love,

Krystyna

Ukrainian Dating Blog

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna is a Russian and Ukrainian dating blogger and Youtube video coach. On Ukrainian dating blog, you find more than 500 articles on dating Russian and Ukrainian ladies. Enjoy!

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1 Response

  1. Max Fel says:

    Hi Krystyna,

    H ave you ever heard of marriage agency http://www.eslava.com.au in Kiev?
    I believe that they scammed me and that the girls are receiving a commission to meet men who travel to Ukraine. I was scammed by the girl that I met through them although they claim on their website to be scam-free.
    Also their manager never asked me for feedback about the dates that I had or what feedback the girls gave them.
    I was scammed in restaurant dates…not that the bills in each restaurant were expensive, on the contrary they were reasonable but I noticed that each time we went to the restaurant and right before the water comes to give the menu, the girl was excusing herself to go to the bathroom to check her make-up. Nothing wrong with this but considering that she was taking rather too long to come back, so we can place our orders, I was a little suspicious that she was certainly making any deals behind my back in the kitchen with the restaurant manager.
    On the 3rd date I told her that I will chose the restaurant myself.
    That time she did not do the usual scenario of disappearing to the ”bathroom” at all.
    She was not happy about something and I could tell that she did not like that I chose the restaurant and that she won’t be getting this time her share of the deal.
    On the first date, the agency manger took me to the restaurant to wait for the girl to arrive for the date. The restaurant looked really posh. I told the manager that I hope that this place is not too expensive.I asked her who selected the restaurant and she said she did herself for both me and the lady I was waiting for for the date because the restaurant is closer to where my apartment has been booked.The Ukrainian girl arrived for the date and we were introduced and then the manager left.
    On the next day I told the girl that the food at the restaurant where we had our first date was really lovely. She replied she had chosen the restaurant herself for us because it is a good place. I told her that the manager told me that she was the one who had chosen the restaurant.
    Then suddenly confusion!!! I am sure that even though all the restaurants we have been to were not overpriced somewhere along the line I must have been scammed with those strange disappearance to the ”bathroom” by the Ukrainian lady. Also I noticed that whenever the waiters brought the bills in every restaurant we went to, they gave her back a card discretely.
    I asked what the card was and she said it is a discount card.
    On the last day because she was really looking very pale and tired with an irritated skin, she needed to buy some cream for her face at a beauty shop.
    We went there and she piked a French brand in regards to the facial cream.
    To be a gentleman and because she was not well that day and that her skin was really irritated I offered to buy the cream for her…about 30 Euros. She opened her bag to look for a discount card and as she opened it, I noticed a bunch of about 50 cards in her bag. I asked her why she has so many cards and she said that they are discount cards that she collects. Very very strange.

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