Should I always pay for a date with a Ukrainian lady?

Hi Krystyna.

Here is my story.  I have met a lady on http://ussrstar.com/. Then I met her in real life, she didn’t speak English at all, so she got an interpreter for $20/ hour. So we met at the Simferopol airport, and there she was in real! Nothing could be said secretly to each other without being translated. This lasted for five days; she always met me each morning, near my hotel with the interpreter. She never came to see my hotel room. We spent the week this way. To make a long story short, this way what happened…

ussr-star

ussrstar.com

We were getting along together very well, I think. But, I had to pay for every expense for her and the interpreter! I need your advice please. Was I been scammed? I do think so.

By the way, I have her personal email! Do you think it can be serious this way?

I will tell you more, if you have questions. It will be my pleasure! Now we don’t write messages anymore on ussrstar.com to save money. Is that a credible story for you?

I’ll wait impatiently for your response!

Thank you so much.

Mario

**************************************************************************************

Krystyna answers:

Krystyna

Krystyna

Hey Mario,

You wrote me only a few words about your meeting in person. I cannot tell you if you were scammed or not. As I understood you in a right way, the woman cannot speak English at all. If she has written this fact on her dating profile, so you knew about that and the interpreter was really needed.

About paying for every expense… Many readers ask me often why Ukrainian and Russian women accept the invitation as a tribute and do not offer to pay e.g. for meals at restaurants in return. In the West, it is considered that paying for the first date is chivalrous, but paying for every date is ridiculous. The dating culture in Ukraine and Russia is totally different. In these both countries, the “tradition” of men paying for the girl is still alive.

I can understand well that this aspect of the Ukrainian and Russian culture might look odd and spammy in the Western world. The explanation for this behavior of women from Ukraine and Russia is very simple, namely: it is a special feature of our mentality which is, as you know, quite conservative. I have to say that the Russian and Ukrainian culture is extremely patriarchal. Russian and Ukrainian women have been raised to expect a male to pay for all dates and expenses related to the relationship.

For example; if you are meeting a Russian and Ukrainian woman on the internet it is likely you’ll be expected to pay for any traveling expenses she may incur during the relationship. Men are seen, in the Russian and Ukrainian culture, as the strong, breadwinner. A man who refuses to, or isn’t capable of paying for dates is seen as being unattractive and less masculine than man who happily pay for the expenses.

From my experience, I can say you that standard first dates in Russia and Ukraine are much more formal than the first date commonly found in the United States, Australia or another Western country (also in Germany where I live). So as you see, paying for every expense (restaurant, taxi, etc.) is a basic of Ukrainian dating.

However, if the woman says you that she expects you to pay for her shopping (for example, a mink coat for $1,500 or she says you to send her $150 for English courses each month), it is a red sign for scamming.


krystyna

krystyna

Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)

Love,

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna is a Russian and Ukrainian dating blogger and Youtube video coach. On Ukrainian dating blog, you find more than 500 articles on dating Russian and Ukrainian ladies. Enjoy! No time to look for specific information or article? Check my “Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies”. The guide offers you useful tips you must follow on your adventure to find your special Ukrainian woman for marriage. For more info, just click HERE

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7 Responses

  1. Troy says:

    Hello madam,

    I would like to ask if Russian women prefer ethnicity because I am asian little look like Chinese but I am Filipino. Thanks.

    • Krystyna Krystyna says:

      Hello,

      I would say that dating Asian men in Russia and Ukraine seems to be still exotic. As you know, 95% of the population of Ukraine and Ukraine is white. Based on historical events, there are still some prejudices against non-Caucasian men in Ukraine and Russia.

      As you know, the former Soviet Union was closed for foreigners for a long time. The country became more or less a closed society; therefore, Russian and Ukrainian girls could date only their men. But despite the fact that Ukraine is an independent and open country since 20 years, the Ukrainians still consider non-Caucasian people exotic. This means that Asian men are somewhat extraordinary for Ukrainian ladies.

      I did some online research on this very interesting matter. So what do people write about the attitude of Russian women to Asian men on different forums and blogs? Yes, Russian and Ukrainian ladies like Asian men. There are many examples, namely: Indian-Russian, Chinese-Russian or Japanese-Ukrainian couples are happy in their cross-cultural relationships. Asian men have a good image among Russian women. It is said in these both countries that Asian men work a lot, are family-oriented and do not drink much. So perfect! 🙂

      I found an interesting article on superstyle.ru (in Russian). The author writes that first, Chinese men are very romantic. In any age, they show youthful ardour in matters of love. Second, in contrast to the practical European men, the Chinese men do not count money when dating a woman. Often, Chinese men are ideal husbands. They are wonderful cooks and do not shun to do such “female” occupations as laundry, cleaning, or buying food. They are really great fathers. And they have a lot of patience! You can read the whole article here: http://pda.superstyle.ru/09jul2009/vostochnyj_ideal (use Google Translator)

      In conclusion, I would like to say that my best friend is married to a Chinese man very happily and they have a daughter Sandra. As you see, you have a really good chance to find a nice woman from Russia or Ukraine. If you have a good personality and self-confidence and know how to treat a Ukrainian / Russian lady, I am sure you won’t have any problems and difficulties to win the heart of a woman.

      Good luck!

      Krystyna

  2. David says:

    In my opinion a man should always pay. I am very much a western man. I have never had a woman pay for a date. I especially would not want my Ukrainian woman to pay.

    For me, it is an honor to have her by my side, looking to me as her protector, friend, provider and lover. The way Ukrainian women carry themselves in such a sweet and lady like way just makes me feel all the more manly.

    Just my opinion.

  3. Wayne says:

    I know your blog is about dating/courting Russian and Ukranian women. But I would like to know if there is a way to find these women without going thru the dating sites. I tried one for a few letters but when my questions were not being answered I stopped. and from what I’ve read most of them are a scam. I’m impressed by what I have read about them. So is there another way to contact them over the internet without paying the ridiculous amount of money the dating sites charge. Thanks

    • Krystyna Krystyna says:

      Hello Wayne,

      thank you for your comment.

      In my view, meeting the right Ukrainian / Russian woman online is still the optimal way. But you have not to pay the huge amount of money because there are totally free dating sites where you find a lot of profiles of Russian and Ukrainian girls:

      http://www.freepersonals.ru
      http://fdating.com
      http://www.russianfreedating.com

      All in all, these three sites are wonderful because of their simplicity. These three sites can fit your online dating routing perfectly and they are totally free! I highly encourage any lonely man from any corner of the world to check them out.

      I recommend you to read my review on these services:
      http://ukrainiandatingblog.com/2012/08/pay-pay-krystynas-review-free-russian-ukrainain-dating-services/

      Moreover, you can use Russian social networks such as VKontakte.ru or Odnoklassniki.ru. They are totally free, as well. Find out how to use these sites to find a Russian wife here:

      http://ukrainiandatingblog.com/2012/05/tips-vkontakteru-find-ukrainian-woman-life/

      But I have to say there are a few minuses when using the social networks for dating:

      (1) VK.com is not a dating site – that means not every woman registered on this site has intentions to find a Western man and move to another country.

      (2) Consequently, the “no reply” rate is really very high.

      (3) Language barriers may be another huge disadvantage of using Vkontakte.ru. Not every girl on VK can speak a foreign language.

      Another alternative. Mamba.ru with 6,099,664 male and female profiles is one of the most popular dating sites in Russia and Ukraine. Registration, search and communication with other users are free. I would recommend you Mamba.ru if you can speak Russian a little bit (not every girl in Russia and Ukraine can speak English) and if you can travel to your target location in order to meet the girl in person.

      For more information on Mamba.ru please visit my article:
      http://ukrainiandatingblog.com/2012/01/mambaru-alternative-international-dating-sites/

      The last alternative to expensive dating sites and matchmaking agencies could be a trip to Ukraine or Russia by yourself. You can go to these countries for a few months, stay there, live and work there. And you can meet women offline without using any services. BUT… I’ve been thinking and looking for the suitable locations and cities in Ukraine where you can find a Ukrainian woman for marriage. Are streets, bars, clubs, cafes, trade centers or beach the best places to meet your dream woman from Ukraine?

      In my opinion, when looking for the best places in Kiev to meet Ukrainian women for marriage, it is unlikely that the type of girl a guy from the West is going to want to marry will be hanging out in a bar or club. It’s true there are some lovely Ukrainian girls to get to know but like everywhere else there are also opportunists. The opportunist will want a chance to live and work outside of her country and chances are as soon as she has got the paperwork she is looking to get you won’t see her anymore.

      For the guy who is serious about finding a nice Ukrainian girl they need to go through a screening process. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to contact a marriage agency in Kiev and start making dates. Get to know the girls through online correspondence first, connect on something like Skype and see how the chemistry goes. Always try to imagine how they might adapt to life where you are living.

      But as you see, this way of finding a woman from Ukraine and Russia is expensive, as well.

      Remember the most important rule: use your common sense! You can get scammed also by using free dating sites, social networks or meeting a woman on the street in Kiev.

      Regards,
      Krystyna

  4. Steve says:

    What if the girl is working with the restaurant and receives a commission (%) kickback of the total bill. Should the guy still pay?

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