Three crucial Ukrainian-Western dating etiquette questions
Ukrainian-Western dating etiquette is confusing. And I understand why many Western men feel so frustrated and stressed in complicated situations when meeting Ukrainian and Russian women in person. Ukrainian-Western dating and relationship can get problematical for a lot of reasons, big and frivolous. In order to simplify your conceptual understanding of Ukrainian-Western dating etiquette, I decided to publish three questions of one of my readers and my detailed answers to them.
Question #1: At what stage is it generally good timing to suggest meeting a Ukrainian lady’s family / friends? If not during the first visit to her country, perhaps the second? Or is it reasonable to expect further visits, considering it can take several visits to her country before a lady feels comfortable & acquainted enough to commit to a proposal / future together. (Especially if there is a language barrier to be passed).
In my opinion, the first visit is only (romantic) dating the woman. The aim of your visit is get to know each other better and understand if you want to continue your relationship for serious intentions. Take your time to get to know the woman really well (find out her hobbies, future plans, her relation to finance, children issue, and more). If you see after your first visit, you have a lot in common and you like each other, so the second visit would be a great possibility to get to know her family and friends. If a woman has serious intentions towards you, she will be happy to introduce you to her family and friends.
A proposal issue… I would recommend you really to take time and patience to get to know your woman better. After a few visits in Ukraine you invite the woman to visit you in your home country. In my opinion, it is important that you come to Ukraine to see her lifestyle, friends and family. Otherwise, it is also important that the woman comes to you to UK to see how you live there. There are a few adventures if a woman comes to your country to visit you:
- you can determine if your Ukrainian woman is ready to leave her country for his
- you will have the chance to be together completely alone, which is the best way to see if your personalities click. You gain a taste of what it’s like living with someone with foreign habits, at least until she becomes more westernized
- it is best to see how she reacts in a new culture and country
I know more than 1-2 visits are an expensive fun but frustration and divorce will cost you a lot more expensive then. So if you see after 5-6 visits in Ukraine and in your home country, after meeting her and your family, you still feel comfortable with her and you can say that she is your match, you are ready to make her a proposal!
A language barrier issue… If you see that the woman makes no efforts to learn your language that means for me that she does not take your relationship seriously. If the woman decides to look for a man abroad, she knows that in a happy case she will move to a new country.
Therefore, if the woman has really serious intentions, she will start learning English at the very beginning of her search. She does not need to spend a lot of money for that, there are online tutorials for free. The books do not cost a lot. So if the woman tells you that she is looking for a dream man more than 1-2 years but she speaks no English word, think about why… If I were you, I would see these women very carefully. And I would look for women with basic English because that means they learn the language for communication with men.
Question #2: At what stage is it generally good timing to express commitment to one lady (including removing your profile from dating sites), and ask if she feels likewise? (including removing her profile from dating sites – this could be a ‘touchy’ question).
I would wait till the first meeting in person. You know that online communication could be really great and you understand each other perfectly. But you go to Ukraine or Russia, meet the woman in person and there is …. nothing. No feelings, no emotions… Thus, I recommend men to communicate with more women online till the first meeting in person. Then you can decide what a woman is the best choise for you. Then you can tell her that you want to develop a serious relationship with her and it is really important to remove your profiles from dating sites in order to show that you found your match already.
Question #3: How soon is it generally appropriate to create the first steps of physical intimacy (e.g. a more intimate kiss) when dating a Ukrainian lady who doesn’t yet speak English and meetings are in public places with an interpreter. (Obviously it would be a slower process than dating a Western woman in one’s home country).
Ukrainian / Russian culture differs from Western culture. Thus, the Ukrainian and Russian woman’s attitude towards sex, hugs and kisses differs from the Western woman’s attitude. You should know that our culture is rather conservative (the women are shy and do not kiss at the first date usually).
Many readers write me that Ukrainian and Russian ladies are very shy, cannot or do not want to hug or kiss Western men, and it is really difficult sometimes to find out whether the woman is into you or not. You have to know that most Ukrainian and Russian women want to get to know you better in order to develop your communication. Women love romantic moments in a relationship but before you enjoy these moments you need to get known you better.
Here are a few tips from me. Most women from Ukraine are not going to kiss on the first date or meeting. Remember to mind your manners and become familiar with our rules of etiquette. It is considered polite to bring us flowers on each date. Make sure you follow the Ukrainian custom of presenting us with flowers on our dates and please make sure you present an uneven number. An even number of flowers is customary for a funeral, not for a suitor or guest.
So do not expect any intimacy during your first visit in Ukraine. If you like the woman, plan your next trip in a few months. In this time, the woman should learn a little your language in order to communicate with directly, without the support of interpreters. If you like each other, it would be to go to the next step.
I would recommend to read the following articles to understand the Ukrainian & Russian sexual culture better:
- Why Ukraine Women Don’t Talk About Sex (Part 1)
- Why Ukraine Women Don’t Talk About Sex (Part 2)
- The Ukrainian and Russian Woman’s Attitude towards Sex
While a single Western woman may put off deciding whether a man is Mr. Right, or even if he has the potential to become Mr. Right, until after she becomes physically intimate with him, a Ukrainian woman will instead decide that you are Mr. Right, before giving you herself, physically. Ukrainian women know that physical intimacy is an expression of trust and love.
Good luck! 🙂
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)