Finding a medium dose of caution when it comes to Ukraine online dating
I just now visited your website and I like it very much!
Although I haven’t read much from it yet…I will read through it after I send this letter 🙂
I am a 30 year old man living in Florida, USA, and for 3 weeks I have had continued communication with a very smart & beautiful Ukrainian woman named Valentina. We met at a free online dating site called “loveawake.com”. I’m not the typical western guy… I am very old fashioned. I am trying to find my honest true love. I am looking for my best friend, my closest companion, my soul mate.
And unfortunately…My old fashioned traits have alienated me from the women in my country. I know it’s not true about all…but the American women I have had experience with, don’t really care about serious relationships…and all they want to do is get drunk and party all the time, and some (not all) have sex on the first date…and as I am a man…and I do enjoy making love just like any human…I still can’t do that with someone I’ve just met. I have to actually “love” the woman I am making love to…. after all it is called “making love”! And getting to that point that takes time for me.
Either I am rare or I am strange…and that’s really why I started online dating. It’s not that I can’t get a woman in the real world….I just want something different & more meaningful. It’s hard to say that while trying to not be judgmental of American women or any woman.
Also, I am “not” looking to marry a woman that is drastically younger than me.
I want someone close to my age. And thankfully Valentina is:) She is 27 years old from Artemovsk, Donetsk, Ukraine. I started by sending her a message on the site, telling her I was interested in her, and she responded back with her email address. And we have been having the best letters between each other. She works as English teacher at an Elementary School for children. She is Christian and lives with her parents whom I admire because I am the same. She speaks great English and she has told me that she writes all her own letters to me and does not use a translator. But either way, I still have started learning her native language because I am genuinely interested in her, and her culture.
I am not perfect, and I have explained to her…I am not a rich man, I’m not the tallest & I don’t have huge muscles..haha! But I am handsome and I do have a true & honest heart! I am a proud father of a 15 year old girl (yes I had her very young)…and I have told Valentina, and she thinks it’s great that I’m a father. I plan to have more children in the future. But, I have to find my wife first..haha!
So really, my question to you is….
Should I worry that this is a scam? Because I have read things about men getting scammed and heart broken. I don’t feel like this is a scam…It feels right to me….but one can never be too sure.
The only thing that makes me suspicious is that I found out today that she has 2 active
profiles on the dating site, and I haven’t talked to her about it yet…. Because I wanted to ask you what you think of it first.
I have been hurt very badly before by my the mother of my daughter and other women here in my own country….but I know it could be so much more devastating to my heart to have it broken so far away from home. I have very high hopes for Valentina and I. Maybe I’m just being paranoid…but I decided it couldn’t hurt to ask you what you think of the situation.
I hope for your soonest response & wish you a great day!!
Thank you for your time!
thank you very much for your message and kind words about my job as a blogger. Very nice from you! Surely, I can understand you why you think about possible scam. Of course, you should be careful.
My ultimate advice for all Western men looking for a Russian or Ukraine woman online is that you should be cautious but NOT overcautious!!!!
When dating a woman on a Russian & Ukrainian online dating website you should exercise a certain amount of caution due to the fact that some (or better to say: most) Western men have been the victim of a scam in the past. However, you should not let this color your experience with dating online. Too many people go into International online dating believing that the Russian and Ukrainian women are out to scam them, and as a result they lose the chance to be with someone that really might have been their soul mate. Men simply look at International dating with a much more discerning eye then they would at online dating within their country and this is not always fair.
Most men that head online to find dates are worried that a woman does not really like them. They start to believe this fact and so instead of communicating openly they are always on the defense. They may think that they are being cautious, but in reality they are being too cautious and the end result is that they will miss out on a woman that might have been perfect for them. There are of course a few things that may be red flags, but you won’t know until you ask.
For example, if a woman has two profiles instead of accusing her of scamming you just ask why. By being open and honest about your concerns you give her the chance to be open and honest too. If you get too defensive you will end up offending women in situations where you are actually the one being inappropriate. It is important to take a risk if you want to find a Ukrainian or Russian woman that will fulfill your dreams, because if you do not take the chance then you will never know what is out there for you.
There are some anti-scam rules that can help you to avoid getting scammed. In my opinion, Western men are getting scammed if they do not follow three simple anti-scam rules:
- Sending money for visas, tickets, emergencies, pay off loans, or for any other reason to the foreign woman they have never met before;
- Falling in love with the woman within a few emails;
- Using a dating service with bad reputation.
I hope I could help you! 🙂Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)