Ukrainian dating question: One year love relationship lost?
I am writing this to you in hopes you can help me understand a woman I have been writing to for a whole year online. She discovered my profile on RomanceCompass and contacted me first to show her interest in me. We have since written each other over 700 letters about our feelings for each other. She always would tell me what an amazing man I am and how much she loves me, how much she misses me if I don’t write her for 2 days.
She always tells me how she thinks about me every day and that I am the only man in her heart and that she is serious about me as a future husband. She is even willing to meet me if I come to Ukraine. But those plans didn’t happen because of the bad situation in Ukraine now. I am very sad now because she has decided to end our relationship because she thinks I don’t trust her. She feels this with some of my letters to her recently because I would always ask her a lot of questions to make sure she is real and not playing games or flirting with me.
I also would ask her about if she is communicating with other men on other sites she is on. She feels very hurt that I don’t trust her. She now believes that I will never trust her and she imagines our marriage would never work because of trust issues. I do trust her but it is just that I want her to be honest with me when I ask her these questions. She thinks I don’t trust her and this is the most important thing to her and she feels I will never trust her in our future. Now she has not written to me for 9 days and she wants time alone to understand her feelings.
I am worried that I will lose her forever. But also I don’t want to write her because she wants some time alone. What do you suggest I do? I really love and care about her with all of my heart and she knows this is true. I also know that she really wanted to be with me and always told me that she loves me so much. We wrote each other these things for 13 months and now she wants to end our relationship because she thinks I don’t trust her. I’m really hurting and I don’t know what to do. It is so difficult to just sit back and wait every day.
I feel like writing her but then again I feel I should not bother her now. Please help me! Do you think it is humanly possible for a Ukrainian woman to be so in love with me and then just cut me out of her life and her heart? I can’t believe that she can do this? How can someone truly write such wonderful love letters to me for over a year and then just cut me off like nothing ever happened???
Do you know if this is possible for a Ukrainian woman to be this way? Do you think she can really forget about me just like that and move on with her life? I am just so sad and depressed every day I think about her. I hope you can give me some insight or maybe something I could say to her that Ukrainian women would respond to?
Please help me.
Thank You for reading my letter!
thank you very much for your message and your confidence in me as a Ukrainian dating expert.
I would give my best to help you with my thoughts and insights.
As I understand from your words, you have never met each other in person and only written the letter to each other. is it right? Have you had live chatting via Skype or other services? What’s the possibility that you can fall in love online, even though you have communicated with each other via online messages, the fact is that you have never seen this person in real life.
As such, you should be very cautious about describing your feelings to that woman until you actually meet the person in real life because people have a natural tendency to fantasize, and assume that the person that we are talking to online has all the qualities of the ideal type of partner that we wish to be in a relationship with simply based on what they choose to tell us. This online love is like a wonderful fairy tale. Online communication and romantic letters are not the same as offline dating. So if your woman tells you that she is love with you, I would be cautious about this because the woman could be very different in person.
The reality of the fact is that whenever you think that you are falling in love with someone who you have never met, you are essentially basing the relationship on a superficial pretense. This is due to the fact that the type of communication that transpires between two people who are interested in each other online, may be significantly different from the type of conversations that you may have with that individual offline. If the person tells you they love you, but you haven’t met them in person as of yet, you should be extremely cautious, because that individual may be a very different person in reality, as I said above already.
Many experts agree, that people have a natural tendency to exaggerate their feelings, provide misleading information and portray themselves in a way that is completely different from their true demeanor. Even if you have been communicating with this individual for over a year. Still, you need to remain cautious, the last thing you need to do is to succumb to the many online romance scams that are on the rise.
Alternatively, if the woman does seem like she has a real interest in finding a compatible significant other and wants to develop a level of communication online, before she actually meets you in person. Then you can take it to the next level by actually meeting her, rather that professing your feelings to her beforehand. So essentially, no you cannot fall in love with someone online that you have never met, but it can be the building blocks to an eventual relationship further down the line once you have met that Ukrainian woman.
What is your next step?
You have been communicating for over 13 months. It is very common that you are cautious about this lady, are afraid of getting scammed by her and ask her a lot of different questions. On the other hand, the woman wishes to find a man for life, she wants the development of the communication and she wants to meet the man in person and to go to the next steps in the relationship. I think that the woman may be disappointed that your relationship is still standing in the same stage and she wants the development and progress of your dating.
If you really like her and you want to be with her, you should plan your meeting in person. Surely, the situation in Ukraine right now is not the best but traveling to Kiev is still secure. You can go only for 3-4 days there and meet your woman offline and spend some time with her. Do you live in Europe or USA? Your woman can also come to Kiev for some days if she does not live there.
Another alternative could be that your woman comes to your country to visit you. There are even a few adventures like by bringing her to your country to visit, you can determine if your woman for marriage is ready to leave Ukraine or not. Moreover, you will have the chance to be together completely alone, which is the best way to see if your personalities click. You gain a taste of what it’s like living with someone with foreign habits, at least until she becomes more westernized. Here is another alternative. You can spend a few days, for example, in Prague and in Istanbul (the Ukrainians do not need a visa to Turkey). You will have romantic time to get known each other better in person.
After a couples of silent days I would write to her and say her that I miss her, if I were you. You do not need to wait but act and fight for the woman you like. You cannot find a woman to marry simply by calling her or writing her letters. You need to meet her. In fact, I believe that one meeting is truly better than sending one thousand emails or making one thousand telephone calls. You can use these things as tools, but they should not be your end goal. They should simply help you to decide if you want to go and pay your woman a visit.
I hope I could help you! 🙂Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)