Is being overcautious really useful in Ukrainian dating?
Being lonely is depressing. If you are ready to have a special person in your life but just can’t seem to find anyone through your usual contacts at work, or through friends, you may want to try what men all over the globe are doing. Stepping into the twenty-first century will get you in touch with women from all continents. If you are interested in Ukrainian and Russian women, you will not be disappointed with the available websites.
One of the things that everyone who has ever dated on the internet is always warned about is the potential for being scammed. This may weigh especially heavy on someone’s mind if he has just gone through a divorce or has been jilted by a girlfriend. The last thing on earth he wants to do is trust again.
Trusting a woman hasn’t brought him happiness in the past. Now, finally ready to date again to find happiness eventually, he is ready for anyone who says one word that may be misinterpreted and immediately categorizes her as a con artist. No doubt there are great numbers of them on the internet, whether from Ukraine or Russia or anywhere else, but there are also good, honest women who want only to find happiness.
Before going on Russian/Ukrainian dating sites, a Western man should have a clear picture of what he wants in a woman. When he finds someone and she meets his first set of criteria, he can gear his questions to her in such a way that he would be able to detect irregularities, even in someone who is not American.
By asking to video chat with her through a company other than the dating site, he may be assured that she is the genuine article. If she refuses or finds excuses not to chat with him, he may be legitimately a little concerned.
When he speaks with a Russian/Ukrainian woman for marriage and begins to build a relationship, he may still be very much on the alert for being used for financial or other gain. He can really avoid this by being modest with his finances from the beginning.
If he builds this relationship and tells his cyber date that he is not able to send her things because he is not that financially stable, he will soon find out if she is scamming him or not. He needs to tell her that he is looking for a wife who is happy with perhaps a blue-collar lifestyle. A scammer will not waste her time on someone who is poor and unable to provide her with what she wants.
In general, Western men who want to look for honest relationships with a woman from Ukraine or Russia will find them sooner or later. The main thing is that they, too, need to be trusted. Some men see things from their perspective only. If they try to see international dating from a woman’s viewpoint, they may realize that these women take huge risks themselves. There are men who represent themselves as someone other than who and what they are. This is quite dishonest and misleading. It is not a good basis on which to build a relationship.
When a man begins to communicate with a Russian or Ukrainian woman it is often difficult to know if the woman is real, or a fake identity used by the dating site. In most cases men become extremely cautious when they use a paid website and often wish to believe a woman is genuinely interested in them. In my opinion, too often the fear of a scam involving the theft of money from a man stops communication in what could be the beginning of a real, lasting relationship.
A Russian dating blogger Eve writes in her article “The Principles of Online Dating: How to Recognize a Scammer“:
As an example, one frequently seen in the Internet kind of men I would name “overcautious.” Seeking a foreign wife, some men fear being “scammed” or deceived. They are not sure in anything and do not trust anyone. “Overcautious” men imagine their money and personal security are in danger. They are so concerned about being scammed that they are unwilling to pay the cost of the ticket. Too often, the men visit dating websites, write letters to women, but break the conversation too soon.
Each word in a woman’s answer is read with scrupulous cautiousness. If these men find words like “money,” “wish to see America,” she “cannot afford something,” the men automatically label her as a “scammer.”As a result of the rising interest in online dating, the Internet now overflows with websites featuring Russian women who are looking for long-term relationships. Owners of the agencies and managers of the websites describe the women as idealistic wives and women with very modest requirements. The popularity of wives from Russia peaked in nineties, but the interest in Internet dating has been slowing down. People found out that Internet conversation is not a panacea for loneliness.
Meeting and exchanging letters with somebody in chat rooms creates many mistakes, misunderstandings, and faults. When the number of men disappointed with online dating increased, the Internet provided them with an opportunity to blacklist Russian women. Black lists warn men to do nothing before their agents check a women’s background, for a fee, of course. Many of the black lists are website pages that increase their earnings. International marriage brokers lose money on dating pages, but make money blacklisting other women. The blacklists are also scam.
Love is not out of reach, even in cyberspace. Dating a Russian or Ukrainian woman is not much different from dating an American woman. True, language and intercultural differences can be a barrier but not one that cannot be overcome. In any relationship, deception is a possible factor. Time is often a great ally in seeking and finding truth. A person’s intuition cannot be discounted when dating. Even if her words do not seem to fit perfectly, sometimes a man’s instinct will tell him if the Ukrainian lady he is dating has ulterior motives or not.
In fact, he may find honesty in his date especially if the words are not perfect. Those words are not rehearsed. They may truly come from the heart. You won’t find happiness, however, if you don’t step out and seek it. 🙂
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)