What to do if your Ukrainian wife is depressed in a new country
If you have recently gotten married or you know someone that has tied the knot with a woman that has moved half way across the world from Ukraine or Russia to the United States, then you have most likely seen the affect that it tolls on her.
While you may be lost in the excitement of having found yourself companionship, it is important to keep into consideration the fact that this new Ukrainian/Russian woman of yours is human, just like you are, and expresses a lot of wants and needs that may be surprisingly similar to your own. When beginning to look at solutions to ending her depression, it is necessary to take a look at things from a perspective that you may not be familiar with.
Western men often experience this situation when they’ve married a Ukrainian or Russian woman and start to realize that she is lonely and down on herself. The first thing to realize is that she has just dropped everything she had had previously in order to begin a new life with you. She has no friends, no job to keep her mind occupied, culture shock by living in a country that is foreign to her, and, most importantly, that she is an entire globe away from her family.
One of the solutions that Western men like to come up with on their own is to take her to therapy or attempt to make her feel more at home by taking her to visit a Ukrainian or Russian club. This is not quite the first thing that the husband should be looking into. Taking her to therapy may be a very uncomfortable and unsettling experience for her and taking her to a Ukrainian or Russian club may be more awkward than it’s worth.
The main issue concerning her depression is that there may be a lack of communication on both of your parts. It is essential to ensure that there is a mature level of consideration, compassion, and empathy being displayed to her and that you are willing to discuss things openly with her. Getting to the root of the issue and finding out the exact reasons why she is depressed in the first place is an excellent area to begin.
Even though it may be frustrating at times, the more emotional support that you show her, the better a chance she has of relaxing. If you’re looking for a happy marriage with more than just companionship, you have to show her that you aren’t just a Western man that swept her out of her country–you have to show her that you are a good man, a man that will take care of her for life and a man that now cares deeply about her.
If it has gotten to the point where you are ready to call it quits, take a deep breath and relax. This is going to take patience, but the outcome has a high chance of being worth it. Your Ukrainian wife is under much more pressure and a considerable amount of more stress than the Western man is. There is going to be no “fixing” her and her issues. What has to be taken a good, hard look at is yourself.
Working on yourself is a solution that will not only show her that you’re willing to reconcile and accommodate to her needs (just as she has done to yours), but that you are genuinely concerned for her well being to the point where you’re taking it in your own hands to work on yourself in order to be better for her.
Being completely honest and having a willingness to be open is crucial to the overall development of your relationship and to her mental well being.
No matter how hard things get and no matter if it seems there will be no end in sight, there is happiness to find. Keep that in mind and vow to take care of her regardless of what happens in the future.
I recommend you to read my article “Four simple tips to help your Ukrainian wife to integrate into the Western culture”: ukrainiandatingblog.com/2012/01/four-simple-tips-ukrainian-wife-integrate-western-culture
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)