How to help your friend who is caught up in Ukrainian online dating scam

Hi Krystyna,

My name is Monica and I have a friend who I know is caught up in a scam like what you have described. He has met her on line and even flew out to meet her. He has sent her thousands and thousands and she keeps asking for more I know she is just wanting him to keep it up.

I have tried to tell him that she is never going to pay it back but he will not listen to me he says that she intends to pay back all this money. What can I do or can you send him an email saying that there is scams out there and he needs to be careful.

He can’t know that I have sent this. He has been so mad that I have said this. I know that all she wants is money. Just on Monday she asked for more money and he finally told her no and she blocked him on all the things that they use to communicate with. I need someone else to tell him that can let him know that people do things like this.

Please let me know what to do.



Krystyna answers:



Hello Monica,

I am very sorry about your friend who got scammed by a Ukrainian dating scammer. Your words indicate all signs of a typical professional pro-dater and scammer. Your friend has made a big mistake to support the scammer financially.

The Russian / Ukrainian dating scam is one of the most common scams on the Internet and primarily targets single men who use international dating sites. The way this scam works is actually quite simple: you begin talking to a Russian / Ukrainian “bride” with serious intentions through the Internet, who then supposedly falls in love with you. The scam begins shortly after: she will ask that you send her money for a number of reasons:

  1. She needs a visa, passport and flight ticket to visit you, the man she fell in love with!
  2. She or someone out of her family got debts … whatever kind!
  3. Someone in the family became incredibly ill and you are the only one who can help right now!
  4. The family is generally indigent and she is very happy she finally met the only man who is able to save the life of all family members!
  5. The “bride” wants to learn English, French or German, but simply got no money. A pity because her English is so rudimentary she can´t communicate with the man she fell in love with appropriately!

As you see, there are multiple reasons as to why she might need this money. For example, many men have shared their experience with me that very usually the Ukrainian or Russian “bride” might claim that she desperately wants to visit them, however she can’t afford the cost of a plane ticket, passport and visa because they are so poor.

If you hesitate to send her any money, she will use various tactics to pressure you, such as pleading that she is madly in love with you and that you are the only one in the world that can help her. In some cases, she might even drop the amount that she needs. For example, if she originally asked that you send $2,000 so she can obtain plane tickets to visit you, she might claim that she managed to borrow $1,500 from a family member and only needs the remaining $500. Of course, if you send the scammer any money, it is gone and you will never get it back. She will instead come up with new excuses as to why she needs even more money. If you get too suspicious or you refuse to send her any money, she will unceremoniously drop you and stop corresponding with you.

Even though such scams are well-known on the Internet, some men will desperately cling to the hope that the woman asking them for money is sincere and is not part of some elaborate scam. Even if there is a chance in a million that what she is saying is true, some men are actually willing to lose thousands of dollars in their quest to meet the woman of their dreams.

online dating scam

The reporting process if your friend has been scammed:

If you realized that you’ve been scammed as a result of the common Russian / Ukrainian dating scam, there are a number of steps that you can take to report the crime. You can provide any information you have on the scammer, such as the name of the person that scammed you, any email addresses and screen names they’ve used, photos they’ve sent you, the amount of money you sent them and the date when the funds were sent.

The first step would be to report the crime to your local police department. They may have a unit that specializes in combating online fraud. You should also provide the same information to the FBI’s Internet Fraud Complaint Center. You can try contacting the embassy of the scammer’s country at home to see if they accept reports of online fraud perpetrated by their citizens. It is also a good idea to provide the information to your country’s embassy in the scammer’s country.

Once this is done, file a fraud report with the money transfer service that you’ve used to send the funds. Keep in mind that most money transfer services like MoneyGram and Western Union will not reverse transactions of give your money back, even in case of a proven fraud. Furthermore, as criminals often use false or stolen identities to receive funds, the odds of them being caught and prosecuted are quite low.

There are many online scams that involve Russian or Ukrainian women who try to obtain money from single men under false pretenses. If you want to date international women, it is better to use dating sites that have a good reputation. These sites verify the identity of their members and take a tough stance on scammers abusing their services.



Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)



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1 Response

  1. Alex says:

    Our wish our local police units cared more about the scam and fraud that’s going on.

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