Affected by Ukrainian marriage scam… What should I do?

Dear Krystyna,

It’s amazing that you offer this kind service!

I have very negative experience with a girl on a dating site. I corresponded with a girl for more than 3 years. When I first visited her after writing 6 months,  just one day before I arrived her city, the agency said that he was in a hospital because of appendix surgery! So I couldn’t meet her. I visited her last winter again, but this time without notice in advance.

I could meet her. But she acted very strange and quite cold. Considering such long time of correspondence of more than 3 years, her attitude was too cold. I stayed at her city for 10 days, but she gave me only 4 times of dating, altogether just 8 hours. I was so disappointed, so I wrote a sad and quite harsh letter. Then she said we did not fit to each other and she said good bye. After that I tried to recover our relationship by all means but every attempt proved to be in vain.

Then this summer I happened to find her VK blog. I researched her blog for more than 2 months, and recently I found she had a secret boyfriend in her city. I am so sad that she kissed him and has been dating with him while she and I were in a great relationship for the last 3 years. And yet her profile is still on the agency, luring other new men!

I think I need to take some measures to stop her fooling foreign men like me who try to find true love with sincere hearts. I already got all the photos and messages and letters as the evidence for her cheating and lying.

russian dating scam

I realized recently that she lied many times.

1. Her real birthday and the year of her birth on the dating site are wrong. I think she intended this.

2. She said she didn’t have pc at home so she had to go to work in cold weather. But it turned out she can access to her VK blog 24 hours a day!

3. She got many presents by saying something like “oh, because I bought present for my roommate’s baby, I don’t have money to buy for myself. And it’s soon the end of the year party and I don’t know what to wear. Also I’m running out of my perfume. I think I spend about $1000 for her presents. I now know her full name, her real birthday and birth year, her address, her university, her hometown. I think I can find where her secret boyfriend works.

I think she is not a scammer but a cheater. I want to damage her and the site in any way possible. And I have a friend who is an advocate working in Kiev. And I want to sue her and the site.

Is there possibility to win if I sue against a dating site for the reason that they didn’t do their best in selecting their lady members? Maybe punitive damages? Or just raising a law suit against her, I want to make her bankrupt as she made me spend more than $4000 until now.

Can I hear your advice?



Krystyna answers:



Dear Steve,

I am really very sorry about your negative experience with Russian/Ukrainian online dating scam. Unfortunately, I have to mention that many Western men looking for companionship with Russian & Ukrainian women for marriage find themselves the victims of Russian/Ukrainian online dating scammers. If you have the unfortunate experience of being scammed by a Russian/Ukrainian dating scammer, you can do several things.

1) Reporting the scammer to the appropriate agencies and adding their names to one of the scam lists can stop them from hurting others in the future.

First, do not feel that you are alone. A very high percentage of Western men looking for a Russian woman online become the victims of Russian/Ukrainian online dating scammers. Some estimates of the percentage of Western men being scammed are as high as 99%.

So, Steve, if you have sent money to this person, it is gone. There is very little to no chance of getting it back.

2) You can report this woman as a fake to the agency you went through. You can lodge a formal complaint with the agency, and against the agency if you feel they were complicit in the scam. You can then take what real information you have about this woman, or man, and post it as a real profile on social networks as a warning to others. You can inform the administration of the site about the person you feel cheated and scammed you. You can ask them to check the persons personality information and verify the IP address they used.

Then if you want to do even more, you can make sure the woman or man you are talking to is really a dating scammer. If you feel they are really guilty, you can add them to all the numerous Russian/Ukrainian dating scam lists. It is a good idea to share your story and experiences with other users of online dating sites. You may not be able to get your money back, but you can save someone else from being scammed.



Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)



Ukrainian Dating Blog

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2 Responses

  1. Tomas says:

    Dear Krystyna,

    first off I would like to thank you very much for all the information you have been providing within your blog. I really appreciate your effort, and I have found good tips to benefit from when it comes to dating in general.

    I want to ask you if you have heard of the dating site called Charming Date that cooperates with the local Ukrainian and Russian dating agencies. I have a suspicion that the majority of ladies there are simply hired to chat and write emails to men, who (unlike women) are charged credits for email opening, sending, each 5 mins of chatting, each 1 min of calling, 10 credits for requesting contact information, and even many more for inviting ladies to a date. The site is very expensive (on average $6 per 1 credit) and states that it is just a mediator between the local agencies and men, meaning a separate entity. They brag of the ultimate anti-scam policy, and strict rules to hold up to for the agencies where the ladies’ profiles have to go through a hard verification process.

    I have been in a close contact with a lady from Donetsk since the beginning of November last year. More and more, I think I have fallen a victim to a scam. She seems to enjoy talking with me, sends me tons of emails on a daily basis where she writes how much she needs me, wants to meet me personally, and loves me. On the other hand, I am starting to feel that she is more or less reluctant to any action which would lead us to being together…

    Do you know if there are agencies that keep their ladies to generate revenues based on their correspondence, and just pay rake-offs to the ladies based on the amount of money spend by their “clients” ? Are you aware that some of them cooperate with the Charming Date site?

    Do you think there could be any good reason for the ladies to stick to correspondence via the dating site exclusively? Like e.g. there can be some contracts between the agency and lady which doesn’t allow her to use the provided computer (in case she gets one from the agency) and internet service for other purposes. And she would have to pay while corresponding via external email.

    Thank you very much for reading the letter and if you know anything about it I would be grateful for any feedback.

    Kind Regards,

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