Krystyna’s dating interview on brides-hunter.com
I recently gave an interview for brides-hunter.com, a blog about dating, Ukrainian & Russian bides as well as life in Ukraine, created by Katrina El and Reggie.
Reggie Oglesby is an experienced and well-known online dating expert. Furthermore, Reggie is an author of the book TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF AN ONLINE DATER and has over 17 years overall experience in the International marriage and dating industry. A few months ago Reggie gave an interview to my blog:
Katrina El is an International marriage adviser and matchmaker. She is also a founder of the International marriage agency Katesmodels.com, based in Ukraine. Katrina agreed to answer my questions a short time ago (it is a very detailed Ukrainian dating interview :)):
- Interview with Katrina, an Asian-Ukrainian matchmaker (Part I)
- Interview with Katrina, an Asian-Ukrainian matchmaker (Part II)
I was very happy when Katrina asked me if I would agree to answer her questions about my activity as a Russian and Ukrainian dating blogger and Ukrainian online dating and matchmaking. Of course, I said YES! 🙂
Here we go:
Krystyna Trushyna is a well known Ukrainian blogger at http://brides-hunter.com!
Katrina El: Hello Krystyna! Thanks a lot for taking your time to be interviewed for Brides-Hunter! I really hope that our conversation will be very interesting and exciting for all of our dear readers!
Krystyna: Hi Katrina. Thank you for the opportunity to have a chat. I am very excited about your questions and hope your readers would find some helpful information about dating Ukrainian and Russian women.
Katrina El: Krystyna, how long has your blog being going? Also, what made you choose as a subject of your blog, videos, and tutorials, the topic of online dating of Ukrainian women, and meeting Ukrainian women?
Krystyna: I created UkrainianDatingBlog.com in August 2010 and two years later I found my other dating project UkrainianDatingStories.com. So my blog is almost 6 years old.
The idea of creating the Ukrainian dating blog was initially my love story with Daniel, my husband, which started 2010. He is German; therefore, he had no idea about my culture and mentality. He believed that dating a Ukrainian (Russian) woman is the same as dating German women. But my expectations were not the same as German women have. At the very beginning we had big difficulties to understand each other (I am not talking about language barriers).
Although I could speak German and could express my feelings and thoughts, we had conflicts and misunderstandings based on intercultural differences. And above I experienced a lot of Ukrainian/Russian-German couples with the same difficult issues. We were not alone with our problems and concerns.
Then I got an idea to create a blog to share my intercultural dating experience with Western men in order to give them an idea about dating with us, to let them understand special features of our culture, mentality, traditions and family values. I gained my first International online dating experience when I was 19. I needed 10 years to find my match for life! 🙂 Hope, perseverance and patience are very important!
So, as you see, Katrina, I have had a lot things and ideas to share. At the very beginning, I considered my blog as a hobby. But over time my blogging activity has become a vocation: I have written more than 1,000 articles, published 3 e-books, produced about 40 video tutorials and responded to more than 3,000 letters from my blog readers.
Katrina El: In your opinion, are the majority of foreign men serious about having relationships with, and getting married to, Ukrainian women via international dating sites, or are they largely just out to have some fun? Accordingly, what do you think motivates the women using such sites?
Krystyna: I would say there are such and such. There are a lot of Western men who really have serious purposes to find a Ukrainian woman to build a happy family with her. They consider marriage agencies and dating sites as a good way to find a woman.
On the other hand, unfortunately, there are also a plenty of men who just want to have some fun or need some attention, thus they register on International online dating sites. I was registered on an online dating site many years ago and could experience vulgar and disgusting messages from men who just wanted to play and talk about sex.
Besides, many Western men do not know exactly what they want and use the sites just to see what would happen. I read Russian women’s forums on which women share their negative experience with Western men. They write that men simply disappear after a few months of correspondence, without saying a word. As we can see, the objectives why to use the online dating site are very diverse.
My opinion about the girls registered on dating sites to find a foreign husband is positive, of course. I know the situation with men in Ukraine. Therefore, it might be the only chance for these Ukrainian women to find their soul mate and get married.
I know how hard the life of a single mother is in Ukraine, how difficult is to get married with a child. And my opinion about professional pro-daters and scammers registered on dating sites is more than negative. They have destroyed the reputation of Ukrainian dating and Ukrainian women.
Katrina El: In your opinion, what is the approximate number of people that have met their love match via an international dating site? Why do you think people prefer online international dating to say looking for love in their own country? One would think that meeting someone in person is better than online.
Krystyna: I would like to give my reply based on numbers. According to statistics, 59% of Americans still believe that online dating is a good way to meet a match. 49,250,000 have tried online dating in the USA. 17% of the marriages met on a dating site (Source: statisticbrain.com / Research Date: September 18th, 2015). As we can see, a lot of people have tried online dating to finding a partner. And I would say that it is pretty successful: today 33% of couples have met online. By 2040 this number will rise to 70%, according to the research by eHarmony.
Online dating offers a unique opportunity to meet people who are not related to work or a narrow circle of friends. In my opinion, online dating sites have been a massive advantage for singles (particularly those with smaller social contacts). I totally agree with you, Katrina, virtual communication is not able to replace live communication. But online dating is just the first step to meet a person.
Then we move on and you have your live communication. I recommend everybody to move conversations offline once you meet a person you interested in. Of course, it is not easy if you live in the UK and your woman in Ukraine. But Skype communication is still better and more effective than messages via dating sites.
There is no doubt that online dating is full of spam. The scam typically works more or less in the same way (e.g. asking for money). So if you can recognize red signs of internet dating fraud, you have a good chance not to get scammed. Moreover, no relationship has a guarantee against fraud – no matter where you met your partner.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained! 🙂
Katrina El: Krystyna, as I understand you live in the UK? What do you think are the differences, if any, between Ukrainian women and women from the UK in respect to relationships with men? Do women from the UK use international dating sites to find love?
Krystyna: Yes, at present I am living in the UK (my family moved to London in August 2014). Furthermore, I used to live in Germany. English and German women love their careers, their goals, their freedom. They are independent and know what they want to achieve in life.
Having a family is not the most important point of their life. I know a lot of German and English women who are over 30 and who believe they are still too young to start a family. They consider men as a companion, as a partner. According to studies, in 2009 there were 19.9 women marrying per 1,000 unmarried women over 16 in the UK (Source: theguardian.com). As you see, marriage is not in focus.
Yes, indeed, English and German women use International dating sites to find a foreign man. I would say that Western women like exotic men (Africans, Turks, South Americans). Most men come to the UK or Germany to join their Western women. It is exceptional that Western women are willing to leave their home country in order to go to Africa or Turkey to live there.
Katrina El: Have you happened to get to know what opinion women from the UK generally have of Ukrainian women who search for a foreign husband? Also, what do UK women think of the men there who search for Ukrainian women online? Further, do Ukrainian women who get married to UK men, and relocate to the UK, enjoy a comfortable life there?
Krystyna: English people are very polite and do not discuss this issue. Great Britain is an International country; therefore, I would say it is nothing special to have a foreign wife. I as a spouse of a German man feel very comfortable in the UK and we started friendships with English guys who are really open and friendly.
Katrina El: Are there many Marriage and matchmaking agencies in the UK? Are most of them local or international ones? Do you know any statistical data of successfully established couples met through International dating sites? I suppose in the UK online dating scam cases takes place less than in Ukraine. What do you think about it, Krystyna?
Krystyna: There are a lot of marriage and matchmaking agencies in the UK (especially in London). If we are talking about Ukrainian matchmaking agencies based in the UK, I could not find any. If you would use Google, you find some marriage agencies based in Ukraine and United States.
Additionally, there are a lot of International dating sites which operate internationally. I have no statistical data of successfully established couples met through International dating sites. I believe there might be many happy love stories.
On the contrary, online dating scam is booming in England. According to the Metropolitan Police, from January to the end of October 2015, there were 2,858 reports of Internet dating fraud around the UK. Scam victims lost more than £21,000,000!!! But in the UK, ap. 70% of fraud victims are women aged from their mid-40s to mid-60s and looking for relationship and romantic affair.
Katrina El: Krystyna, In your opinion, are there any regions in Ukraine that stand out perhaps as having more sincere women than others?
Krystyna: Hard to answer, Katrina! I guess that you can become a victim of dating fraud in any city of Ukraine (or Russia, or Nigeria, or Columbia). The scammers and professional pro-daters are active in every single city. If the men do not use their common sense, they are more likely to become a scam victim! It is not about the location, it is about the target group. Scammers target the weak and naïve men.
Video by Krystyna: Are all Russian and Ukrainian (mail order) brides scammers?
For that reason, I believe Western men can meet serious and reliable women in every city of Ukraine. Answering your second question – most women in all regions of Ukraine are family-oriented and have serious intentions to find a husband and build a family. When I lived in Germany, I met girls from different corners of Russia and Ukraine (Western and Eastern Ukraine, Urals, Crimea, Siberia, Moscow, Central Russia) and did not notice any difference between them. On a whole, all the girls from Ukraine want to get married!
Katrina El: Do you ever advise your customers to choose a particular international dating agency, or do you not promote any one agency over another?
Krystyna: In generally, I give advice on how to prepare for a Ukrainian dating process, how to communicate with a woman online and offline, how to select a reliable online dating service or matchmaking agency, which expectations the men should have while looking for a woman from Ukraine.
My advice to every Western man is do a little preliminary research on the marriage agency you plan to join and check what kind of reviews it’s getting. Men should pay precise attention to what former customers are saying about the service and what their experiences were with women registered on the site.
There are Ukrainian dating and marriage agencies with a respectable image; but there are dating agencies with a plenty of negative reviews, as well.To make sure that the Ukrainian dating agency is reliable, look at more than the photographs of the Ukrainian women. Read over the terms and conditions on the site, check the contact information and anti-scam policy.
Furthermore, look at the contract you are entering into when you become a customer of the Ukrainian dating agency and check exactly what the agency is agreeing to provide in return for your fee. Is this personal matchmaking based on your mutual interests and other information, or is it a fee for access to a database of profiles of women which you will contact yourself? If you have any doubts about a particular dating and matchmaking agency, I would not recommend you to use it. Find more information and reviews about their services.
Katrina El: From your time as a blogger, what topics of discussion are sought by your readers, and what questions do your male readers mostly ask of you concerning online dating?
Krystyna: By number of comments I can call the following topics which might be treated as in great demand:
- dating site reviews (some of my articles have about 30 comments about some particular online dating services),
- dating etiquette issues (pay or not to pay when you have a date with a Ukrainian woman, how to date a foreign woman if she does not speak English, etc.),
- online dating scam articles (the article “The Most Important Facts About Ukraine Dating Scams” has 25 comments).
Questions of my readers are very different. I even get letters from European women who meet with Ukrainian or Russian men. Many readers ask me to help them to find a Ukrainian or Russian woman for life. They see me as a professional matchmaker. Men who have already a communication with a woman from Russia or Ukraine want to know if their lady is real or not. They want be cautious and try to avoid getting scammed. Furthermore, I receive many letters with a question which dating service I would recommend them to use or how to select a reliable marriage agency.
Many readers ask also my thoughts about specific agencies and online dating sites if I would recommend this site to them or not. Some questions are about interracial dating, marriage issues or age gap in a Ukrainian-Western relationship.
Katrina El: What is your wish for people that choose to use an international dating agency to find their “second half”?
Krystyna: Marriage agencies with a personal customer approach are still worth a try, in my view. Men using these services are on a good way to find a serious woman from Ukraine.
Guys, be patient – the Ukrainian dating process can be tough.
Ukrainian dating is not easy (Ukrainian women – Advice by Krystyna)
Learn more about your lady’s culture and traditions to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings. Use your common sense and think about your expectations. Ukrainian women are not just beautiful dolls-models, we are human beings with emotions, feelings and hopes. If you find your match, be happy and work on your relationship constantly.
Katrina El: Dear Kristina, Thank you very much for making yourself available to be interviewed for my blog! I, and I am sure also my readers, very much appreciate it! I am sure this interview will become one of the most interesting and most read articles on http://brides-hunter.com/
I wish you a lot of luck in Ukrainian dating adventure!Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)