Ukraine Dating Interview with David: Use Honest Services
Today I am taking an interview with David, an active scam fighter and dating adviser. He has a huge expertise in the Ukrainian-Western dating field. I am sure that the shared information might very helpful for every Western man looking for a wife in Ukraine and Russia. Enjoy!
Krystyna: Hi David. I would like to thank you so much to finding time to answer my questions. To start, could you kindly introduce yourself to us? What kind of online dating experiences have you gained?
David: Well, my name is David Brunner. I live in Boston, Mass in the U.S. Thank you for this interview, Krystyna.
Hmmm. . .what kind of experiences have I gained. Well, I could go on for days. But let me just be short and sweet. I have learned;
- Do not use pay per letter sites.
- Try to date only the women who wish to date you. This is tricky.
- Use honest services.
Krystyna: Talking about online dating sites… According to the eHarmony Study, one-third of married couples in U.S. meet through online dating sites. Additionally, finding your partner online is rapidly catching up to more “old-fashioned” techniques of meeting partners (the eHarmony 2015 Relationship Study). 22 percent of those surveyed say they met their current partners through online dating sites, second only to meeting people through mutual friends at 24 percent.
So, I would mention that at present dating sites work very efficiently according to all these studies (we do not pay any attention to the fact that the studies come from a dating website 😉 ).
My next question to you. Is there any chance to expect such a success for meeting your partner through Russian and Ukrainian dating sites? Which sites would you recommend Western men to use to find a woman from Russia or Ukraine?
David: Well Krystyna, I do believe people can find happiness online but they have to be very careful. Can a person find happiness? I would say, of course. But they must be willing to do research and stop believing in the lies they read at fake dating sites.
You are correct, there not many independent studies on these dating sites. Most of what we hear about studies and success rates come from these sites making claims about their services. But what we hear from many people who use online services is a different story. We do recommend some sites and services.
Some of these services you have profiled on your blog, such as mordinson.com. In addition, we recommend ukrainedate.com, ukrainiangirlsdating.com, bridesandlovers.com, and elenasmodels.com. There are several others, but it is better to just tell men to not to use pay per letter sites and to trust their feelings. The industry has a lot of fraud in it.
Krystyna: There is no secret that the Russian and Ukrainian dating has a pretty bad reputation in the industry and in the press. For example, the Nigerian dating scam is very widespread, as well, but nobody discusses it so much. What are the reasons for the very negative image of the Eastern European dating? The Russian and Ukrainian women are to blame for that?
David: I guess you know my feelings here, that’s why you ask such a direct question. Of course, the vast majority of that blame falls on the shoulders of companies like Anastasiadate/Social Discovery Ventures or HotRussianBrides/I-Pay Global, Inc.
As long as companies like these exist and continue to mislead the men about how their business is conducted, then I don’t see how any of this gets better in terms of the image for Eastern European women. Krystyna, I think it is important to understand. I believe that every service under Social Discovery Ventures’ umbrella (Amolatina, Africanbeauties, etc,) should be subjected to the same scrutiny.
As for comparing Nigerian scams to what Anastasiadate, HotRussianbrides, Uadreams, etc. do, I would say that is like comparing apples and oranges. These websites have never told the men, they pay agencies in Ukraine to supply their sites with women. That is why 18 and 19 year olds are constantly sending men messages.
That’s why women who are models, etc. are constantly trying to get men to respond to letters. It is why I have found so many women who are married or engaged to be married at these sites. I post that evidence on social networks to warn men about these sites and services.
Nigerian scammers are at many honest sites, doing what they can to trick men into sending money. But I know of no coordinated effort with any website. If a man sends money to any scammer who uses an honest service, that blame belongs to that man.
Krystyna: The majority of the International online dating sites sell Russian and Ukrainian brides as sweet, serious, family oriented, beautiful, feminine and stylish. Additionally, most profile images are photoshopped. In my view, to do that means selling an unrealistic representation of reality.
Western men seem to enjoy this imaginary (fake) dating world. Now, I believe the Russian and Ukrainian dating industry has created this brand of idealism and many of men like it (so said the law of supply and demand). What are your thoughts on this photo manipulation issue and the law of supply and demand in the Russian and Ukrainian dating industry?
David: I think it is not correct to say all Western Men enjoy this. The woman who scammed me certainly was not photoshopped. I met her in person. Surely there are at least some Western men who enjoy this fantasy. And I am not saying these men should be denied that opportunity. There are plenty of women who will satisfy such needs.
But I was looking for a wife and so were the great majority of men who have joined my group. These websites should have told us the truth about their organizations. They should have been transparent and honest. What I do on social networks does not jeopardize this law of supply/demand. The men who want fake relationships can still go to these sites and get their needs met. I only seek to inform the men who are honestly looking for love.
Krystyna: Let’s talk about the alternatives to paid online dating sites, namely:
- free dating services (freepersonals.ru, fdating.com or russianfreedating.com),
- matchmaking agencies (Mordinson.com or Diolly.com),
- social networks (VK.com, Odnoklassniki.ru or FaceBook.com).
Learn more about the services in my articles:
- Ukrainian dating Interview with Michael Mordinson (Part 1)
- Ukrainian dating Interview with Michael Mordinson (Part 2)
- Interview with Svetlana Mukha, a matchmaker and dating coach
- Tips how to use VKontakte.ru to find a Ukrainian woman for life
In your opinion, do these ways provide a safer and more successful opportunity to meet a serious foreign woman for life?
David: That is a mixed bag. There are premium services like mordinson.com, that provide a safe experience for both men and women. But free sites and social networks are tough. It is hard for both men and women. I tell men that if you are trying to “convince” a Russian or Ukrainian woman to leave their culture, their country, and the only life they have ever known, you are doomed to failure.
I tell them to approach women who have made that decision already. If you notice, there just are not enough services that provide safety/security for women and transparency for men. My group hopes to create such a platform. It is strange that these sites overlooked the real opportunity in providing safe, transparent services.
Krystyna: My YouTube videos have a plenty of positive and negative comments (more than 1500 comments totally). As for me, Russian and Ukrainian women polarize strongly. Men either love them or hate them. Why do we give so many emotions? Do not say that men are straightforward creatures and that’s why. 🙂
David: I feel you are a tremendous resource. There are other Ukrainians who have similar blogs and videos. All of you do a lot to show Western men the truth about Ukrainian women. As you have mentioned, many of these sites lie.
As for men who love Slavic women, well, I think most of them believe in a fantasy. They have an ideal about Ukrainian women being beautiful, obedient, submissive, “knowing how to treat a man”, etc. fed to them by these horrible sites. But it is false. I never sought out Ukrainian women exclusively. I was only seeking a woman to give me love. So I did not project this illusion onto Ukrainian women.
For men who dislike Slavic women, I think it is because they have been scammed. They blame the women, as though the women created this industry with fake sites, fake chats, and fake letters. They don’t seem to understand the sites are designed to extract as much money from them as possible.
I have been to sites that have created fake profiles from pictures they have stolen. I have been to sites that have fake video chats where there is a looped video playing of the woman they wish to meet. I meet so many men who wish to get revenge on the women who scammed them, but not on the industry that created the scam.
Krystyna: And my last question to you. I have received a lot of messages with a question how to start the search for a Russian / Ukrainian woman. What would you advise to those men? Any special tips to share?
1. First of all, men need to leave all pay by letter sites. If a man is paying to send letters and for chat services, he needs to realize, he has probably been tricked and lied to.
2. Men need also realize that this entire industry is built from their hard earned dollars.
They are the customers, they hold the power. If they stop giving money to bad services and start being “smart” about where they spend their money, this entire industry will change.
3. Men have to understand that everything these fake website have told them is a lie. Ukrainian women are not submissive, they generally do not date men 25-30 years older than themselves. And the biggest lie, most Ukrainian women are not looking to date and marry a Western man! So men need to focus on women who have made that decision and stop assuming every Ukrainian woman wants them.
4. Which leads to this point, use honest sites, services, and people. I know that seems very basic, but I have run into so many men who insist on using very bad sites to find honest women. That is a losing battle.
5. Stop being overly suspicious of Ukrainian women. There is no reason to throw around false accusations without any proof. If your lady is not trustworthy, she will reveal herself. If you are using an honest service, then you should be certain she is not being paid to talk to you. So sooner or later, if she is trying to scam you, she will ask for money. Just say no. It is that simple.
6. Lastly, if you have been scammed by a site, fight back. Do not let the site or service that tricked you get away with it. Do not let them hurt another person. Also, find help for yourself. Do not let this drive you into depression, seek out others who have similar experiences. You won’t feel so lonely. Because in order to find love, you will have to heal and get over your experience. My group provides this. There are no victims groups for us. So we have to create our own.
Krystyna, I also have some advice for Ukrainian women.
1. Not every Western man is rich.
2. Not every Western man is a good person. Check your man thoroughly. There are services you can use to look up to see if your man has an arrest record. I would say, even talk to family members of his if you can. I know personally of a man at a dating site and he is an ex-convict. Stay away from these types of men.
3. Stay away from men who are possessive, demanding, and/or domineering. Many men come to Ukraine with the expectation that you will be submissive and obedient. If you find that your man is this type, I advise just ending the relationship.
4. Try to be understanding, if you can. Some of the men you will date have been victims of scam sites. They may be reluctant to share their emotions.
Finally, I just wish to say, I began this journey after being scammed. I wanted to give up searching for love. I am not even sure why I did not give up. For some reason, I kept going and I am glad that I did.
Krystyna, in Ukraine, I have met people who have become my best friends and will probably be so for the rest of my life. Meeting honest Ukrainian people has lifted my spirits and given me hope. All I wish to do is to spread this news to men who have been lied to and tricked. I don’t think this is damaging to Ukraine’s reputation.
I think this does quite the opposite. These lies these sites tell, do not help the Ukrainian people. They do not help the men who come to these sites. And the sooner these lies die, the sooner everyone will know the truth.
I hope to create a site, where Eastern European women can date in safety and Western can date with transparency. All I wish to do is to help the people who are seeking love and happiness to find each other. I don’t think that is a bad thing to wish for this world.
Feel free to comment this interview if you have any questions or additions to it.
Sharing is caring. I would greatly appreciate it if you share my post with your social network!Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)