My Ukrainian Bride: How to Know if She is Serious

Hi Krystyna,

I saw some of you videos on youtube. Nice information ๐Ÿ™‚

I am new to this type of international dating. Joined just before christmas last year and was completely stunned by the women. My head went spinning, I was floating off the ground.


I quickly realized that I had to watch my wallet. So I decided to have a focus approach where I focused on just one woman with the sole purpose of finding out how real she was. Well, she was real, but stupid as I was I did not make sure that her English was good enough to communicate in writing outside the site. I also tried to contact her profile on facebook, but she did not reply. Strange!

After some time, chatting to more women, I realized that the site, in my view, has a lot of grey zone profiles of women. Women who can be there for all kinds of motivation. To me its not clear what the motivation and their incentives are. But I have made it outside with multiple women. I spend a total of USD 1,000 chatting. I became better at identifying the profiles, which in my view, are more real that others.

I ended up actually communicating with English speaking women outside the site. E-mail, phone and whatsapp. Early on my strategy was to go for women in the age group 28 and up. I am 42 so that is half my age plus seven ๐Ÿ™‚ I chatted on a sincere basis with women aged 23-35. Eventually I left the rest with one woman aged 28 years. She is quite special. I need you opinion about her and my situation.

The funny thing about her is that the broke the “15 message rule” on bestdatingnow and gave me her contact e-mail right away. We quickly picked up communication and she sort of was so focused on me and took so much time writing that the other women just got blown away by her! Now I have known her for over two months. She has written me over 40 e-mails and never even hinted at any money issues ๐Ÿ™‚

Though, I am cautious. I started calling her up on the phone. We have had some nice conversations, kissed. She considers me to be her boyfriend. But for some reason she seems reluctant to have a lot of conversations on phone. It seems a bit odd to me. I have tried to explain it to myself. Perhaps she is shy, perhaps she feels ackward actually speaking English, etc. What is you view on this?

What is your view on her breaking the “15 message rule”? In my view competition is so hard competition on the site that is makes sense to me. Its hard to get any male to pay for 15 messages. Many of the women look so good, sexy, feminine, etc. They are mindblowing!

She was also quite insisting in wanting to meet in real life. I have no problem with it. I promised her, but ran into a job shift issue, so I had to postpone it. She took it very understanding and we have kept communication up for one month after I had to disappoint her. We are now even closer.

She has insisted that we meet in her town, 80 km outside Kiev. She has promised to pick me up at the airport. We take a rental car and drive to her place where we stay in an apartment together for one week! What is your view on that? Spending a whole week with a guy she haven’t met before, even if she says he is her boyfriend and she is in love!

I don’t view her as a gold digger. I made sure to send clear signals on the site about my wealth and assets. I am just a regular guy with an academic education. I make ok money, but I cannot be fooled to a significant extent. I spend USD 1,000 on the site, sure, but I spend the money knowing that I took a risk. I was exploring and did not expect a clear outcome.

Would you suggest that I spend money on a background check? How do you see the situation with your expertise and experience?

Thanks a lot. You help a lot of people with your site ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Kind regards,



Krystyna answers:



Hello Lars,

thank you for your message, warm words about my dating blog and YouTube channel.

(1). Joining bestdatingnow

Before joining the online dating site, check the information / reviews on this company. The site bestdatingnow belongs to the 1st International Marriage Network that is not reliable. They do not give any information on their company (the team) and any address of their office. They just give the following address on their site:

Write to us at Suite 3978, PO Box 6945 London W1A 6US, United Kingdom. Use this address for all correspondence, payments, inquiries, etc.

The address is just a box, not physical office.

Compare with the following site: (German-Russian site)

Another aspect of is that the user does not know the history and owner of the site. Who is the owner? Why was this site created? E.g. the LoveMe owner John is married to a Ukrainian woman Tatjana, was created by a Russian woman married to a South-African man. But does not have any face, we do not know who is working for this company. You should be really cautious before joining an online dating site.

(2). Your lady.

It is very normal that the woman wants to meet you in person. The goal of online dating is to meet each other offline at some point. If you do not plan to travel to Kiev after 6-12 months of nice online communication, you will be wasting all of your money and time.

You will be spending a lot on correspondence, something that is ultimately not going to pay off. No woman would wait for you 2-3 years. In fact, I believe that one meeting is truly better than sending one thousand emails or making one thousand telephone calls. You can use these things as tools, but they should not be your end goal.

She has insisted that we meet in her town, 80 km outside Kiev. She has promised to pick me up at the airport. We take a rental car and drive to her place where we stay in an apartment together for one week! What is your view on that? Spending a whole week with a guy she haven’t met before, even if she says he is her boyfriend and she is in love!

If I were you, I would come for the very first meeting just for 2-3 days and would stay in Kiev. Online communication is one thing, meeting in person is totally the other one. Imagine, you have no chemistry between you and you have to stay in her flat the whole week.

Thatโ€™s why it is recommended to go to Kiev for a few days, stay in a hotel (you need to pay the womanโ€™s accommodation as well) and enjoy the city. If your first meeting was successful and you like each other, you can plan your 2nd meeting at her flat. You woman seems to be a little bit naรฏve and romantic. Maybe she is pretty desperate and hopes to find her match ASAP.

(3.) Your first stay in Kiev

Talking about your stay in Kiev. In order to have a successful date with your woman in Kiev, you need a good plan and have to educate yourself about Ukrainian dating culture and etiquette. I recommend you to read a few of my articles to get an idea about your first meeting with a woman in Ukraine:

(4). Talking about love already

Speaking honestly, I do not believe in falling love until you actually meet the person in real life because people have a natural tendency to fantasize, and assume that the person that we are talking to online has all the qualities of the ideal type of partner that we wish to be in a relationship with simply based on what they choose to tell us (sorry for this ling sentence!!).

This online love is like a wonderful fairy tale. Online communication and romantic letters are not the same as offline dating. So if your woman tells you that she is love with you, I would be cautious about this because the woman could be very different in person.

The reality of the fact is that whenever you think that you are falling in love with someone who you have never met, you are essentially basing the relationship on a superficial pretense. This is due to the fact that the type of communication that transpires between two people who are interested in each other online, may be significantly different from the type of conversations that you may have with that individual offline.

(5.) Being OVER-cautious

One of the things that everyone who has ever dated on the internet is always warned about is the potential for being scammed. BUT… in any relationship, deception is a possible factor. Time is often a great ally in seeking and finding truth. Just use your common sense, do not use unreliable dating services and educate yourself about online dating scam.

red flags online dating

It is very common that you are cautious about this lady and are afraid of getting scammed by her. But being overcatious in Ukrainian and Russian dating could lead you to failure. On the other hand, the woman wishes to find a man for life, she wants the development of the communication and she wants to meet you in person and to go to the next steps in the relationship. If you really like her and you want to be with her, you should plan your meeting in person.

krystyna dating blogger


Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert ๐Ÿ™‚ (s. here: Contact Krystyna)



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