How to deal with a 20-year age gap in Ukrainian dating

Dear Krystyna,

I have experimented with online dating for Russian women and Ukrainian women. After a couple of false starts I found someone who I am very interested in. Shantaram seems very interested in me. We have been communicating for a while through letters and video chat and we discussed her coming to America for a test run.

She suggested that a month together we would know if we were right for each other. I agree and we plan Tumi sometime in January. My question is this woman is 41 and I am 64 but I am told I look how much younger I love you man very good shape. In your experience do Ukrainian women find older men that much more attractive than younger men?

I am concerned about the age difference and she explicitly stated that she was looking for somebody Elder and stable. Want her to have a wonderful time while here and we’ll just act as natural as I can but I do want to impress her.

I really could use some suggestions or help. I’ve read many of you are articles and blogs and the biggest concern was how so many of these dating sites are scams. I really want this to work but then such a cultural and age difference I do not want to blow it with my first impression.

Any suggestions I would greatly appreciate.

Thank you,


Krystyna answers:



Dear Joe,

What considerations are needed when an age gap is present in a Ukrainian-Western dating and relationship? This question is one of the most asked questions in my blogger career. I wrote and published some articles on this issue:

Many people feel uncomfortable or even awkward at the though of having a relationship with someone much older or younger than they are. Romantic and sexual relationships with Ukrainian women are about finding someone you can relate to, talk to and feel comfortable being with.

They are about attraction and need and that special something you can only find with someone who is incredibly special in your eyes. Age in this type of Ukrainian-Western relationship does not need to be a factor, finding the right Ukrainian or Russian lady is hard enough.

Stereotypes about dating with younger Russian or Ukrainian women

A lot of old cliché’s have been applied, especially if the Western man in the relationship is much older than the Russian or Ukrainian woman. People say she only wants all of his wealth or that she is young enough to be his daughter or horror of horrors, he is termed as a sugar daddy or even referred to as a boy toy.

Although many individuals still look at gaps in a Western-Ukrainian relationship with suspicion, there is nothing wrong with two people of different age brackets who simply enjoy spending time together.

Age gap in Ukrainian dating: When too big is too big?

For some reasons, an age gap of ten or less years is viewed as being all right. Anything over this number inevitably raises eyebrows. As long as the two people involved in the relationship feel secure and do not have any doubts, whatever their families and friend’s say or think should not be an issue for the couple.

Love should have so much more than just age involved. Justifications and explanations should not be necessary when people are lucky enough to find love in the first place. Sometimes the Ukrainian-Western relationship is simple, it’s about:

  • respect,
  • understanding,
  • kindness,
  • laughter,
  • happiness,
  • just wanting to be able to spend time with each other.

Age does not define happiness (at least in most cases), do it?

Factors that impact a large age difference

There are certain factors that can impact a large age difference in a Western-Ukrainian couple. The wish to have children, health, fitness levels, interests and having grown up in different periods of time with memories that do not match. Every couple will have certain issues, but as long as they have resolved them and are still happy, that is what really matters the most.

Age also matters less as we find ourselves getting older. After all, a nineteen year old with a thirty-five year old is just not done, but a forty-five year old and a sixty-five year old does not seem to make a difference any longer. The gap has shrunk with age.

Unfortunately, a difference in age of just five years has been shown to mean they are eighteen per cent more likely to end in a divorce when compared against a pair who were both born in the same year. An age difference increased to ten years shows a thirty-nine per cent risk of that marriage failing.


Many people put their faith in destiny and not statistics. Marriage is supposed to be about working together as partners. Still, sometimes differences do matter.

Considerations should include the experiences people have seen in their lives, culture, our references, perspectives and even our physical differences. Ultimately, the choice belongs to the individual couple and what they believe in their hearts is right.

Video by Krystyna: Russian and Ukrainian brides: the age gap issue

I hope I could help you.

krystyna dating blogger


Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)



Ukraianian Dating Blog

Sharing is caring. I would greatly appreciate it if you share my post with your social network!

You may also like...

1 Response

  1. larry says:

    Hello Krystyna,
    I have been a member of for about three months. I have paid for communicating with several ladies. I am 67 years old and the lady that is most interested in me and has offered to fly to my city in the united states is 42 years old. I have asked her about the age difference and she tells me no problem at all. What is your opinion of her statement and the site.
    thank you and I will wait for your reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *