Being Ukrainian Mail Order Bride: Win a Lottery or Not?
Editor: Krystyna, founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog & Ukrainian Dating Stories and speaker at the iDate conference. On this blog she shares her knowledge and experiences with international dating and intercultural relationship. Read more
Editor: Krystyna, passionate dating blogger, speaker and author read more
Thousands of Philippine mail order brides, Thai mail order brides, Russian and Ukrainian women dream of a better life for themselves and their families so why not consider an arranged marriage. Certainly life as a mail-order bride couldn’t be worse than the type of hard living most of these women are already used to. Or could it?
Oksana Makarova and her Ukrainian mail order bride story
Consider the story of Oksana Makarova: picked from a group of 200 or so other Ukrainian and Russian women from Odessa, Ukraine and the surrounding area. Oksana was wined an dined by a Florida doctor who was on a “marriage tour” and specifically set up to provide well-to-do single men with a bride from Ukraine.
The attraction for most of these overweight, balding, middle-aged suitors is the chance to meet a submissive and willing young woman who will dedicate herself to their husband’s every wish and desire. Not to mention the chance for a green card and extended benefits for the bride’s entire family. While it might look good on paper it rarely pans out that way.
Winning the lottery...
For Oskana this pre-arranged marriage was akin to winning the lottery: a good life for her and her son from a previous one-night stand. Whether the other Ukrainian and Russian brides had it better or worse is something she’ll never know.
In short order, Oskana was introduced to her future husband Carl – a doctor – who whisked her away from the cold confines of the Ukraine and took her back to his home in Florida. Whatever redeeming qualities Carl exhibited when he met Oskana in Odessa, Ukraine quickly evaporated into a maze of domineering behaviour for both her and her son.
Not exactly the promised Land
The addition of another baby did not make her life any more complete. In fact, Oskana had an even harder life than that which she left behind. With limited English and no education, she was basically reduced to maid, housewife and mother. Cut off from her family and culture with no friends to call her own, Oskana was trapped in a marriage with a man she did not love in a world she did not fit into.
Carl’s treatment of his Ukrainian wife and their children continued a downward spiral until domestic violence became common place, It wasn’t until social services and the local authorities stepped in and forced a change did Oskana’s life finally took a turn for the better.
Legally separated from her husband, Oskana was able to get a divorce and child-support for her kids. Her green card came through and life b finally stepping in. Oskana was legally separated fro her husband and eventually able to divorce. She finally got her green card and social services did its part to get her and her family into low-income housing.
Life could only get better
Over time, Oskana’s language skills improved, she got a job, went to school and in general began to assimilate herself and her family into America in way that was completely different from her time married to Carl as one of dozens of foreign brides.
Fast forward to the present: Oskana is now an American citizen and living a better life. Certainly there are other women like her: brides from foreign countries the world over, who dream of a better life but more often than not come up short in their dream of a better life.
Guys, have you gained experience with dating clever and savvy Ukrainian or Russian women? Please share your experience below.
Many thanks in advance! Спасибо! Spasibo! Дякую!
About the author: Krystyna is an International dating blogger and coach. Here you find more than 500 articles on dating foreign ladies. In her regularly updated blog posts, Krys has shown a keen eye for online dating issues, dating scam and cross-cultural relationships.
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert(s. here: Contact Krystyna)
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