Interview with Reggie Oglesby, a foreign dating expert & scam fighter
Editor: Krystyna, founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog & Ukrainian Dating Stories and speaker at the iDate conference. On this blog she shares her knowledge and experiences with international dating and intercultural relationship. Read more
Editor: Krystyna, passionate dating blogger, speaker and author read more
Reggie Oglesby is a Ukrainian dating expert and author of the book Trials & Tribulations of an Internet Dater: The Search for a Ukraine Bride (available on Amazon). Reggie offers you over 17 years International online dating experience and is an expert in exposing online romance scams, having personally exposed over 1100 fake Ukraine brides posting profiles and some fraudulent marriage and dating agencies. Reggie has an established processing technique for the Fiancée Visa, cutting considerable time off the time to get a Ukrainian woman to interview.
Krystyna: Hi Reggie. As said above, you have a huge experience with dating foreign (or better to say, Ukrainian) women. Could you tell about your experience more in details?
Reggie: Hi Krystyna. Yes, I can say I have quite a bit of experience with online dating and Ukraine women. Most of it NOT so pleasant. I started Internet Dating in 1998 and made my first trip to Odessa to meet a nice woman. We spent about 6 months developing relations to make the meeting happen.
We liked each other, just not enough for marriage and we remained friends. In 1999, I traveled once more to meet a woman IN Odessa who was from Lugansk and experienced my first SCAM! She was what we call a professional dater, tricking men to think she wanted marriage and taking support of their care. She agreed for marriage, (she was quite convincing), but afterwards thing did not make sense in all the delays and excuses she put forth. I later learned from another man she had betrayed that this was her business and she was quite successful at it. Now, Lugansk has a worldwide reputation of being the SCAM CAPITAL of the World!
In, 2000, I met and later married a Belarus woman and we were married for 6 years and share a son together. She was not the best match to me really and we endured many problems that we just ended up in divorce. That is a whole other story! Since then:
2007: Traveled to Lithuania, woman sent me youthful photos of her 10 years prior, basically deceived me to come meet her claiming to be one woman and actually another.
2008: Traveled to Moscow using a romance tour and none of the women were a match. A total waste.
2009: Traveled to Minsk to meet one girl but we were just not a good match and remained friends today.
2010: Spent 6 months developing relations with Odessa woman who also proved to be a professional dater. She was quite good and convincing you of her love and care but when I arrived to meet her, saw immediately how selfish and greedy woman she was. She was only interested in a man’s wallet and nothing else.
2011: I traveled to Kiev, Sumy, Kharkov, Poltava and Nikolaev, meeting several women I had met online, some even who invited me and ALL turned out a great disappointment. None were as they claimed to be in letters. It was a great disappointment.
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Krystyna: Is there any difference between Ukrainian and American woman, in your opinion? Why are many Western men looking so actively for a wife from Russia or Ukraine? What do they expect in a marriage and relationship with a foreign woman?
Reggie: Krystyna, despite many disappointing encounters with Ukraine women, I came to recognize those women I had misfortune to meet were really a product of the corrupt nature of online dating and not a true representation of real, marriage seeking Ukraine women.
You can only judge the individual, NOT the female population. Ukraine women differ from American women mainly in their femininity. They know how to act, look and be a woman. American women seem to have lost that given the rise of feminism and career aspirations.
American women are so busy trying to be like a man, they forget to be a woman and men hate this. Ukraine women on a whole do not seem so corrupt by Western feminism; still maintain a more traditional attitude to marriage, husband and children over the American counterpart. Men like a feminine woman for one, Ukraine women are some of the most beautiful in the world and EVERY man enjoys this!
I guess the main thing a Western man like me seeks in marriage with a Ukraine woman is to first find her respect that man is head of his house, she allows him to be a man and that she is more focused to be a partner. Men need the emotional support and care of a good woman which in turns fuels the power in the man to rise to his highest potential on behalf of her and his family. Women forget or abuse the power they have to positively motivate a man to greatness and that is a big failure among American women.
Krystyna: You are an active fighter against online romance scam? What could you tell about scammers? Is any chance not to get scammed by agencies and online dating services?
Reggie: Scammers, men or women, are the scourge of Internet Dating and they cause a lot of heartbreaks which I think is unforgiveable. All for the sake of greed. I know how much of my time and money has been wasted in 17 years in my journey, the constant LIES, BETRAYALS and disappointments. Hope lost. It is a terrible feeling and one I think any SCAMMER needs be held accountable for.
Many chastise me for even reporting women I can prove or liars and scammers online. They say “it is none of my business”. How can it not be my business when people like this run rampant on the Internet and never held accountable so others do not encounter what I do? I think any responsible person, man or woman, who has a sense of values, MUST expose any scammer they come in to contact with. I can say for those who did, it has helped me avoid future mistakes and I THANK ALL who have the courage to expose those online who corrupt the dating process.
I also hold online dating agencies such as Anastasia.com and A Foreign Affair as representative of what is WRONG in the industry. It is a money factory for them and nothing more. Ansastasia.com is notorious for profiling dishonest women and hordes of scammers. Since it is one of the biggest agencies out there, men mistakenly assume they help you get married. WRONG! They just take your money!
I know of NO ONE who has had a positive experience in finding love with their women. I actually used one of their agencies in Kharkov in 2011. They paid a woman to go out on a date with me, claiming she was available for marriage when in fact she was engaged to be married. It was just a FREE dinner date for her. We hit if off so well that she came clean to tell me the entire story. She became a dear friend afterwards because she was HONEST!
Krystyna: Do you believe that a marriage with a “mail order bride” from Ukraine and Russia can work? Which common mistakes do Western men make while having a relationship with a foreign woman?
Reggie: Having actual marriage experience gives me an edge in commenting on this matter. I can say that if you find someone online that you feel a connection with; you have to make effort and WORK to develop relations PRIOR to any meeting. It means being totally honest with the person and opening yourself up, she and you, so you begin to discover each other in the very basic form of the heart and soul.
It is a great opportunity to learn the “inner world” of a person, that is IF they are being honest and you have to be smart and ever vigilant to always make sure “things make sense” while you develop relations. Rarely do I ever find a woman online who puts forth the same effort to know me as I wish know her. I ask LOTS of questions. Sadly, many Ukraine women think this a useless endeavor as their focus is only a meeting.
What they all fail to realize is that without proper development and understanding of who the person they will meet can be, then the meeting often proves just another failure. Why is it of the girls I met in 2011 that I see still online, are NOT married? That has to say something to the foolish mindset.
I tell women that NO rational man (in my opinion) is going to spend many thousands of dollars to travel, take time off from work to go meet a woman as some blind-date (and maybe have only a few days or few weeks to do all that) and not know what she can offer in a relationship or marriage, let alone know what she wants to accomplish in life. And truly expect marriage? NO WAY!
And why would a serious marriage-minded Ukraine woman even want to meet a man she did not know how he can support her, care about her, what things in common they have, etc? The man has a limited time to come and in most cases, HIS ONLY TIME, he can meet and decide for marriage. Ukraine women seem oblivious to that fact. They forget the tool Online Dating is suppose to offer them to accomplish all the non-physical understanding of who a person is inside and if that matches what they truly seek.
Krystyna: What is the number one advice you have for Western men who want to find a woman from Ukraine or Russia?
Reggie: My number one advice to men who want to find a foreign wife is to use your brain, not what is in your pants to dictate what your actions are. Beauty is not all that it appears to be (my ex- was a Belarusian model and a prime example) when it comes down to what defines a person.
I have seen too many men fall for a sexy woman only to find she is a scammer or even the photos end up being stolen of famous models. If you always question and make sure they make sense, you are off to a better start than most. This is NOT for the faint of heart and you have to be committed to this. If not, you are just spinning your wheels and opting for failure!
About the author: Krystyna is an International dating blogger and coach. Here you find more than 500 articles on dating foreign ladies. In her regularly updated blog posts, Krys has shown a keen eye for online dating issues, dating scam and cross-cultural relationships.
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert(s. here: Contact Krystyna)
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