I am always looking to share new thoughts, ideas, expertise and different perspectives — not only on the Ukrainian dating industry, but also on relationship and marriage with Ukrainian and Russian ladies and anything else related to my Ukrainian Dating Blog.
Today I present you a guest post kindly written by Svetlana Mukha, a matchmaker and dating expert. This article is a full version of her advice published in the article “How to Succeed in the Ukrainian Dating World: Expert Tips“. Please find all the expert tips HERE.
In her article, Svetlana shares her concepts and rules how to succeed in the Ukrainian dating world in full length. Enjoy!
Greetings from the International award winning matchmaking company diolli.com.
My name is Svetlana Mukha and I would like to highlight the crucial rules of international dating.
If you really follow these 4 rules your chance to meet your best half in Ukraine will increase dramatically.
Ukrainian Dating Rule #1: Be realistic!
Pretty often when people just find out about Ukraine, local ladies and international dating they have this cliché that every Ukrainian girl dreams about marring a much older gentleman and leaving the country. This is so not true!
If you search on YouTube you can find lots of “documentaries” showing gentlemen in their 50s or 60s dancing with hot Ukrainian girls in their early 20s. Media shows Ukraine as a country of brides where every male can get a hot bride really cheap and quickly.
This is so far from the reality! Only 20% of Ukrainian ladies are open to international dating and about 40% are open to date an older gentleman who is 5-10 years older and only 7% are open to date a gentleman who is 10-15 years older. If you travel to Ukraine to search for your perfect lady not only you will be the one to choose, but the ladies will also choose you!
Ukrainian Dating Rule #2: Know who you are!
Actually this rule is closely related to the first rule. If you live in the countryside and enjoy fresh air, long hikes, mountain views and no neighbours around, then you should think twice before starting to date a lady that lives in the big city and three times per week attends gym, yoga classes, watches new ballets in the theatre and enjoys active city life.
You can be attracted to her looks and personality, but you should understand that one of you will have to give up their habits and interests, which usually never happens, and if it happens sooner or later it makes one person truly unhappy. Know who you are and where you stand and look for a lady that leads or wants to lead a similar life style and can be truly happy next to you.
Ukrainian Dating Rule #3: Don’t search for a “perfect picture”
So often when gentlemen start using a dating site or an off-line dating service they start filtering the profiles by some “special” criteria. For example, they decide that their best half should be 172cm high, should have green eyes and blond hair. Her English should be perfect and she should love playing golf.
She should be 10 years younger and should play the piano. Of course she should be never married and match a very specific astrological sign. A gentleman can filter and filter the profiles for months hoping to finally find “the one” that will match all these criteria. The chances that a lady like that truly exists are REALLY low. And even if she exists there is no guarantee that she will like you and fall in love with you. Perhaps she has never planned to move to Utah or she prefers meeting a doctor.
Let’s imagine you have met a beautiful girl in the coffee shop. She smiled to you friendly. The next day again you run into each other in the same coffee shop. After several days of randomly running into each other you finally talk to her and she gives you her phone number. You don’t know how old is she or if she plays the piano, perhaps she has been married and at home she has a little daughter waiting for her. You don’t know that, but now you have her phone number.
You decide to ask her out and she says yes! During the first date you find out that she works in a computer company, loves sushi and ice-skating. The evening goes really well and you ask her out again. During this date you find out that her eyes smiles when her lips smiles, you notice that her jokes are funny and witty. She tells you that she is 33 years old and you though she was maximum 25 years old.
You find out that she learns French and dreams to visit Paris. For the next date she invites you to go ice-skating and you hold her hand for the first time. You really like her and the chemistry between you is growing rapidly. If you were on a dating site you would never have a chance to see her profile, because she doesn’t match your “perfect” criteria: she is over 25 years old, several centimetres shorter and her eyes are brown!
Ukrainian Dating Rule #4: The importance of priorities
I have watched so many people falling into two extremes. Some people decide that finding their life partner is a number 1 priority and they basically stop doing their work properly, which they actually like a lot, they give up their hobbies and communication with friends and family.
Not so long ago I have watched how one couple has ruined their relationship, because they both were pushing way too hard. After meeting in Ukraine they have decided to skype every day for 3-4 hours. It worked for the first week when the memories about their meeting were still fresh, but after 3 weeks of such intensive communication they got sick and tired of it. Why did it happen? Because before meeting the gentleman the lady has really enjoyed her job, meeting her friends, studying English and planting the orchids.
Now she had to spend most of her free time in skype. After the first week she was talking to the gentleman not because she wanted to, but because she had to. And he had to push finishing reports and skipped lunch to talk to her every day for 3-4 hours.
He had to finish the reports at night so he went to bed really late and was too tired in the morning to go to gym, which he had enjoyed. They have put each other into such a pressure that after awhile they have started to hate their communication, despite the fact that chemistry was really strong at the beginning.
Another couple that has started to date at approximately the same time during the phase of long distant communication after the face-to-face meeting has agreed to skype on weekends and to keep in touch by messages during the week.
Both of them were looking forward the weekend to see each other on skype and share the news that happened during the week. Not only their relationship have survived the long-distant communication, but they grew much stronger and now this couple is happily married and lives in the USA.
Video by Svetlana: Long distance communication with the Ukrainian lady
As a conclusion I would like to remind our dear gentlemen, not to forget that ladies love attention. They need to feel that you are serious about them and they are a priority for you. If you have already met in person and you plan to meet her again don’t forget to send her flowers on her birthday, St. Valentines and sometimes just to brighten her day. Send her messages to ask how was her day and to give a compliment.
And don’t forget that after you have met in person for the first time and liked each other, you should plan the next meeting in 3 maximum 4 months, otherwise she can forget you or meet someone else. If you really like the girl and want to build strong healthy relationship with her you must invest your time, your passion and, yes, your money too into it. I will repeat myself that before you have met in person this is not a relationship and doesn’t count as one.
I wish you all pleasant successful and of course safe dating and don’t forget that where you invest your love, you invest your life.
Guest post by Svetlana Mukha, a CEO and leading matchmaker at diolli.com and paradisedate.com.ua. She is “the Best Matchmaker” by Idate Awards 2016.