Question:
Hi Krystyna
I am on a dating site called Charming Dates or Dating. I have been talking to a woman now for 4 months off this site. It is going well and I think this woman is genuine in what she says to me.
It is just a gut feeling. We have talked on the phone, written many letters and sent each other photos. We also have live chats.
Is this dating site a good site? And is this woman for real as in? Will I get to meet her when I come over in July? I have spent thousands on this site and I only hope that for this, there is such a woman to meet when the time comes.
Can I trust this site?? I did offer to come in end of April but she said this was not a good time as she will be busy with work. She is a hairdresser. I hope that this reason is genuine, but still a little nervous after reading about some of the things on this site.
I hope it is not a case of postponing the meet so site can make more money than at the end there is no Julia for me to meet. I am widowed and I will be coming to her with my 9 year old daughter.
I would be interested in your opinion of this site.
Kind Regards,
David
Krystyna answers
Hello Dave,
Of course, I have heard about CharmingDate.com. I have never used the services of CharmingDate and could not tell if the women on this site are real or not. If you talked to the woman on phone several times, it may be a good sign that your woman is real.
I would recommend you to ask the woman for her real name and then find her profile on Russian social networks like vkontakte.ru or odnoklassniki.ru.
As I said before, I have not use their services and can tell about them only from reviews of other users. And I have to say that there are too many negative reviews (this makes me suspicious). It is really important that you get a personal contact with the woman before you go to Ukraine (skype, mobile, etc.) so that you get no negative surprise in Ukraine. As for me, such sites which do not allow to exchange direct contact data are not serious.
If I were you, I would not continue to use this site. Surely, there is a chance that your lady may be real but this chance, as for me, is not great. Communicating with this woman you buy a pig in a poke – you do not know 100% if the woman is a scam or not. I would give up if I were you. It can save your money, time and especially your feelings!
If you cannot get a personal data from the woman, you should search for another dating services which gives you a possibility to get in touch with a woman out of the site. Doing things together via Skype is a great way to normalize the uniqueness of cyber-life.
There are several steps a man can take to protect himself from this type of scam. The first is to ask the woman for private contact information, such as phone numbers, email address or Facebook profile. Do not ask immediately, the woman can be scared if you ask after 1-2 messages.
However, if you see that your communication becomes more active and personal, do not hesitate to ask her e.g. for her mobile number or email address. Using Skype is also a very good way to verify identify. Fake pictures are common among dating site and mail order bride sites, but a live video chat is very hard to fake.
Another step is to ask for more private photos (but not for some naked photos!!! Women feel offended by such a request. Read more about this: https://ukrainiandatingblog.com/2011/09/guys-really-only-one-ukrainian-women/). Asking for something specific to be in the photo is also a good way to prove the woman is real and legit. Asking the woman to hold a newspaper with the date on it or a piece of paper with a personalized message on it is an excellent way to verify identity.
Looking for a legit dating site? Check my reviews here:
A few tips from me as a conclusion:
- You must not use a dating agency if you have any doubts.
Before you sign up with any site, including any of the sites mentioned above, you should do your homework. It is important to look for information about the site including any reviews available from former members, especially those who found a wife using the service.
Pay particular attention to their experiences while using the site. You may also want to search to find out how Russian and Ukrainian women view the sites. If a particular site does not have such a high rating with women, you probably won’t want to sign up for that site.
- Do not use chat services if you are unsure whether it’s a real woman you’re going to chat with
- Make an online research on e.g. CharmingDate (or another dating agency you would like to join) clients’ experiences
- Be realistic. You can have no success in the online dating world (just like in offline dating). You have to be ready for this. Life can be hard and you must show a lot of patience before you find a wonderful wife from Ukraine.
- Be careful. The Ukrainian online dating world is not like sugar. There are a lot of scammers. However, there are a lot of wonderful women who do have very serious intentions and are tired to be alone. Just believe me!
Meet Krystyna, an esteemed international dating expert, blogger, and the founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog. With over 1000 articles published in English and German, she specializes in cross-cultural relationships, prevalent dating topics, and tackling romance scams.
In my opinion, it is too expensive if you have to pay for every letter that you send and receive. Not to mention there is a high possibility that the site may be a scam.
It would be much better to use a site which has a good reputation, and that you get direct and unlimited contact for one price.
Site such as Elena’s Models, or datingrw.com are good choice. I especially like datingrw.com, its price is cheaper than Elena’s Models, and the ratio of women to men is about 2 to 1. So you will have a good chance to find your woman on this site.
Last month, I went to Russia to meet the woman of my dream, I met her through datingrw.com. I must say that everything went extremely well between us, and I am waiting for the embassy to issue her visa, so that she will be able to arrive in August for a 2 week visit.