do you still believe that Russian and Ukrainian wives are ideal? Or are they looking for an ideal husband? Is Russian and Ukrainian dating a fairy tale? I try to find out the responses to these controversial questions. My goal is not a bad wording about Russian and Ukrainian brides but building an opinion about the Russian and Ukrainian marriage industry and expectations of its customers.
What do offer Russian and Ukrainian women to Western men? Do you, guys, understand their female nature? Only real expectations and understanding of intercultural differences can be a recipe for success of Ukrainian-Western relationship and marriage.
My article is based on the Cosmopolitan article “Natasha, good-bye!”. I would love to post the original URL, however the magazine received a whole flurry of critical comments and letters, including from women who are married to the foreigners.
There are a few facts mentioned about Russian and Ukrainian women in the Cosmopolitan content:
To marry for a Russian woman is sacred
First of all, Russian and Ukrainian women want to get married. No matter what man basically. The most important thing is getting married, putting on a beautiful white dress and getting the coveted stamp in her passport.
But then it became clear that this fairy tale is really a fairy tale. A Russian woman does not need a man; she needs a marriage. The sooner she becomes a “married wife”, the better, and therefore she agrees to everything. And at a time when foreigners realized what was really happening, Russian wives began to go out of fashion. Because few men want to connect life with a woman for whom you are not a person, but a status. A conditional husband. A free application to a stamp and ring.
Russian woman is not capable of equal partnership
A man always owes something to Russian women on the simple reason, namely: just because he is a man. As simple as that. Most Russian and Ukrainian women still love to give men certain qualities (“provider” or “defender”).
A Russian woman is getting married with her whole family
A Western man who has decided to build a relationship with a Russian woman must understand that from now on he will be closely connected with her entire family. First of all, with her mother.
My note: there are positive and negative signs of this. For example, my German husband loves to be connected with my Ukrainian family. He loves this chaos, noise, funny communication and a lot of food. But my girlfriend’s British husband hates to go to Ukraine, as this chaos and noise are too much for him. And he comes exhausted from Ukraine and needs an additional vacation after Ukraine.
A Russian woman does not know how to be happy
Happiness for a Russian woman is not a life style, but a goal. The goal that she never reaches because happiness cannot be the goal. This is a process, not a result. Everything needs to be perfect. Perfectness is a happiness.
The biggest problem is that a Russian or Ukrainian woman does not want to change anything. She does not understand and, most importantly, does not want to work on herself, does not want to recognise her problems and seriously deal with the causes and consequences.
Russian women believe they are ideal wives
At the same time Russian and Ukrainian women are sure that they are the best in the whole world, the most beautiful women, the most, the most… The list of their “most” qualities is endless.
What is truth and what is lie about Russian women in the article?
OK, I will try to analyse the Russian women and the Russian marriage agency. Based on the Youtube and blog comments I would say that some Western men have got disappointed in Russian women and the industry itself.
In the early 90’s, when the Ukrainian and Russian dating industry started, all the services sold their product as an ideal beautiful wife with the main features of sacrifice, willingness to endure everything and give a birth to children. But this PR is only a mythos and has a very little to do with reality.
The reality is that Russian and Ukrainian women are strong and know exactly what they want from life and marriage. Most of my girlfriends live in Germany and the UK. Most of them finish university, speak the language of their new homeland and have built a happy and long-lasting relationship with a Western man. They earn their own money and they are successful in their career. Consequently, I would like to conclude that modern Russian and Ukrainian women are capable of partnership in a marriage.
On the other hand, we still are feminine and elegant. We can have a huge impact on men’s lives. We can change your life completely, guys.
But yes I would say Russian and Ukrainian women know all their positive features and use them very effectively. And family plays a crucial role in Russia and Ukraine. You have to accept it otherwise your marriage will not work out.
E.g. my girlfriend is married to a German guy. When she relocated to Germany, she had still a mortgage for her flat in Kiev. Now the husband pays her mortgage as her little son (who is 23 years old) lives in this flat. And the husband pays her son’s vacation because his wife wants to spend time also with the son. And he paid for her mother’s tickets to come to visit them. Are you shocked? We are not because it is normal to pay for the family if they cannot do this by themselves.
I come to my conclusion. Russian and Ukrainian brides are not ideal at all. But we can offer important things to make you happy: personality, family orientation, equal partnership, and feminine nature. However, do not believe stereotypes about super doll – slave – I am a mother – I do not want anything in this life but you – I just want to have a husband. These women do not exist, maybe in your dream world. Be realistic about your goals and expectations. Otherwise, frustration and desperation are expecting you.