Dear friends,
Ukrainian online dating is intended to be a safe environment yet oftentimes when dating people forget to look for the “Red Flags”. There are always red flags that we should have seen but at times they are not noticeable.
From my personal experience, I know that online dating can be frustrating as well as lead to hurt feelings and even financial loss. In fact, I know that there are Ukrainian daters that do not send out red flags and unfortunately leave you unaware. In my article “Ukraine & Russian Dating Scams: The Most Important Facts” I wrote about professional Ukrainian online daters.
In the first stages of dating a Ukrainian pro-dater will communicate effectively and never trigger the typical red flags like asking for money. These daters encourage you to make a first visit and in the end will leave you baffled.
Red flag signs for foreign romance scam
Yet there are ways to avoid the Ukrainian pro-dater and certain red flags that are visible if you know what to look for. Here are a few red flag signs:
- Avoid scams by arranging the first meeting in a public place such as a coffee shop or café. This goes for men as well for women. Men, there are many ladies who fit the Ukrainian pro-dater scam profile.
- Be leery of someone who tries to direct you to an expensive restaurant or luxurious shopping mall. This Ukrainian pro-dater is typically looking for money. Trust me; it will be your pocketbook not theirs.
- Be cautious of those who are in a hurry to date again for these are players move quickly and want money now. In my opinion if you slow them down it will discourage them and they will move on.
- They are persistent on wanting to meet you right away. Generally within the first or second email or correspondence they initiate a first date and do not give up until you comply. Again, the Ukrainian pro-dater is looking for quick cash. Please take your time.
- Know that you make the ultimate decision when it comes to money. You have the power of your own finances. Do not allow your date to make you feel inadequate, embarrassed or rude if they make personal requests or favors. Look for contradictions in what they say. Believe me, players normally stretch the truth. Be attentive, for over time you will notice conflicting comments and red flags.
- Take your time before getting serious. It will not be obvious to recognize a player personality on the first or even the second date.
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Precautions to take
- Stay clear of people who are preoccupied with themselves. From personal experience I know that that this type of person can be persuasive and really charming. This Ukrainian pro-dater is only concerned about what they want and will go to great lengths to get it. Likewise, they are usually good looking and know it and will most likely treat you very poorly.
- Be cautious when your date says “I love you”, “I really like you” or “We were destined for each other”. Typically this person is either desperate for love or a con. Just remember, love takes time and does not typically happen like the fairy tales “Love at first Sight”.
- If you have a tendency to attract players then I advise you to stop dating. It will be in your best interest, for it will save you financial distress and hardship.
Conclusion
These tips not only relate to online dating but also to offline dating. Just as well, it is up you to protect yourself by being aware. In addition, it is up to you to create a dating environment that is financially and emotionally safe. Equally, it is possible to find a lot of nice women from Ukraine who are not Ukrainian pro-daters. Just remember to go at your own pace and watch for red flags.
Meet Krystyna, an esteemed international dating expert, blogger, and the founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog. With over 1000 articles published in English and German, she specializes in cross-cultural relationships, prevalent dating topics, and tackling romance scams.
Krystyna,
I’m glad that you wrote rule #9 🙂
As you know for the last 7 years, ever since I turned 33 years old, I stopped dating ALL women simply because of rule #9 🙁
Believe it or not, and I kid you not, my father and I had a 2 hour father- to -son talk, when I was exactly 22 years old. He told me that he noticed that my dating life(except for the one special girl that I dated for 10 months who was from Copenhagen, Denmark and was a foreign exchange student for a year) wasn’t going according to my own person wishes and dreams. The conversation went something like this..”well son you’re 22 years old now and I noticed that your dreams about finding your dream women is no better than it was when you were 19 years old. Matter of fact, I’ve noticed that you are the kind of person that attracts all the wrong women in your life and when you do try to attract the correct women they all seem to flaunt in the opposite direction. Son, marriage, as in life itself, is a gift and the gift of marriage and relationships are not given to everyone on planet earth. Matter of fact, son, marriage isn’t for most people and some young men and old men alike are meant to be single. The gift of being in a relationship simply isn’t meant for some men. I believe son, based on my own observations of you and knowing your personality and character, that you’re one of those few young men whose not meant to be in a relationship. You’re meant to be single because you seem to attract more ‘bad girls’ than a fly that is attracted to honey. Don’t feel bad or worry about being in a relationship. Your own life was meant to be directed in another direction and that’s not a bad thing.
I can see now that if you continue to do what you love based on the natural gifts given to you and simply continue to be who you are you will live a long life, free from the stress of a nagging women, drama, unnecessary worrying, zero financial drama and your heallth will remain strong. Son, don’t try to force a relationship on yourself simply because you feel that you need a female in your life. If the gift wasn’t given to you then don’t force something that don’t belong to you to have. In a sense, that’s grand theft and karma will come back to bite you harder than you think.
Son, my advice stands as it is, if you continue to try to look for that special women you will continue to attract what is not in your best interest and as you get older you’ll find that what I’m saying is true because at this point I have more life experience than you and I know you better than you know yourself at this point in your life. Think of singlehood as a gift and not a burden. It’s a gift to be totally free from relationship pains, hurt, and suffering. It’s a gift to remain free to do what you want to do, when you like to do it, and whenever you please to do what you want to do; without interferace of a female telling you what she likes and what she doesn’t like and what she will accept and what she won’t accept. Son, you can do what you will but you will find that what I’m saying now will hold true as you become older…”
Krystyna, we had this conversation when I was 22 years old and I still remember it like it was just yesterday and have never forgotten the majority of the conversation that we had together.
Krystyna, although my father is not with me today and he’s in another relm of reality, now at the age of 40 I can say that his words are more than truthful today and much more powerful today than they ever were in my life.
I’m glad that you wrote rule #9.
I now know what to do and it’s now time to stop struggling with the inevitable. I’m at peace with myself now 🙂
Thanks for rule #9…..
hilton
This comment from Mr Hilton was made on March 22, 2012. Eight years down the line, I’ve just seen it because it’s not quite long I discovered this site. I wish I could have a chance to communicate directly with Mr Hilton to reveal certain truths to him about his dating and relationship difficulties. Though his father’s counsel seemed factual in the face of the challenging realities he was experiencing then, but it’s not correct. He is simply a victim of some negative essence which borders on certain spiritual phenomenon him and his father are ignorant of. And I can help him with that, if he is interested. I can reveal certain secrets to him and tell him how to overcome his challenge.