Dear friends,
Thousands of Philippine mail order brides, Thai mail order brides, Russian and Ukrainian women dream of a better life for themselves and their families so why not consider an arranged marriage. Certainly life as a mail-order bride couldn’t be worse than the type of hard living most of these women are already used to. Or could it?
Oksana Makarova and her Ukrainian mail order bride story
Consider the story of Oksana Makarova: picked from a group of 200 or so other Ukrainian and Russian women from Odessa, Ukraine and the surrounding area. Oksana was wined an dined by a Florida doctor who was on a “marriage tour” and specifically set up to provide well-to-do single men with a bride from Ukraine.
The attraction for most of these overweight, balding, middle-aged suitors is the chance to meet a submissive and willing young woman who will dedicate herself to their husband’s every wish and desire. Not to mention the chance for a green card and extended benefits for the bride’s entire family. While it might look good on paper it rarely pans out that way.
Winning the lottery...
For Oskana this pre-arranged marriage was akin to winning the lottery: a good life for her and her son from a previous one-night stand. Whether the other Ukrainian and Russian brides had it better or worse is something she’ll never know.
In short order, Oskana was introduced to her future husband Carl – a doctor – who whisked her away from the cold confines of the Ukraine and took her back to his home in Florida. Whatever redeeming qualities Carl exhibited when he met Oskana in Odessa, Ukraine quickly evaporated into a maze of domineering behaviour for both her and her son.
Not exactly the promised Land
The addition of another baby did not make her life any more complete. In fact, Oskana had an even harder life than that which she left behind. With limited English and no education, she was basically reduced to maid, housewife and mother. Cut off from her family and culture with no friends to call her own, Oskana was trapped in a marriage with a man she did not love in a world she did not fit into.
Carl’s treatment of his Ukrainian wife and their children continued a downward spiral until domestic violence became common place, It wasn’t until social services and the local authorities stepped in and forced a change did Oskana’s life finally took a turn for the better.
Legally separated from her husband, Oskana was able to get a divorce and child-support for her kids. Her green card came through and life b finally stepping in. Oskana was legally separated fro her husband and eventually able to divorce. She finally got her green card and social services did its part to get her and her family into low-income housing.
Life could only get better
Over time, Oskana’s language skills improved, she got a job, went to school and in general began to assimilate herself and her family into America in way that was completely different from her time married to Carl as one of dozens of foreign brides.
Fast forward to the present: Oskana is now an American citizen and living a better life. Certainly there are other women like her: brides from foreign countries the world over, who dream of a better life but more often than not come up short in their dream of a better life.
Meet Krystyna, an esteemed international dating expert, blogger, and the founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog. With over 1000 articles published in English and German, she specializes in cross-cultural relationships, prevalent dating topics, and tackling romance scams.
Hey Krystyna,
This is Hilton. I email you quite often. Oh, be sure to check your email because I emailed you a question.
I wanted to post a question on your blog for you. Out of all the dating sites that you have done research on, what site do you think is the best site for a guy who wants women to contact them first?
Mahalo from Hawaii,
Hilton
Krystyna,
Before commenting on your blog, I just wanted to say that my question, above, related to women from the Ukraine/Russia who wants to contact a man first.
Well, I read the article with great sadness and had this lady been in my life, here in hawaii, I would have loved her with all my heart and soul. Even though my income is in the top 1% of all income earners in the U.S(remember I trade the Foreign Exchange Market), I would want to remain humble and loving towards this wonderful Ukrainian lady. Instead of giving her all the hate that she received I would have given her all the loving she should have recieved and then some! That’s exactly what I want to do when I find that special Ukranian women for my life. She will be secured in every way possible with no missing link to speak of. Here in hawaii( I live on the island of Oahu), there are plenty of people, from the Ukraine, who both visit and live in hawaii. There’s even a tourist specialist that deals with Russian/Ukrainian tourist services.
Well, with that said, I’m looking at joining Mordinsons in Kharkov, Ukraine, Cuteonly.com and loveme.com
These are the only three dating services I am seriously thinking about using.
Thanks for the article!
Mahalo from hawaii,
Hilton
Poor girl in this story – NOBODY derserves such a destiny!! I hope she find her luck.
How does someone “arrange” an marriage? That’s done in other cultures perhaps but not in Ukraine.
How does one “whist away someone from Ukraine to the US?” How does this happen without the lady being completely in agreement and passing a grilling interview at the US embassy who’s trying to prevent insincere women from using a western man as a ticket out of the FSU?
How is it that being a wife and mother in the US, (married to a doctor) a harder life than the one she left in Ukraine?
In short, this “story” is a pure fiction – a bogus story concocted in order to mask the simple fact that the vast majority of Ukrainian women “use” sincere western men, men they have no intention of staying with once the green card comes through.
Krystina:
Did it ever occur to you that there are two sides of the coin? Did it ever occur to you that Oksana Makarova maybe a pathological liar? Did it ever occur to you that she may have used the defense of that of being a defenseless woman so she can get the sympathy ? Think of it !
Hey Bobby,
Of course, this is possible. But I have no evidence that Oksana may be a pathological liar. I just re-told her story. Why did I do this?
The fact is that we read most stories of “unhappy” Western men who share their experiences with “brutal” Ukrainian girls, possible scammers and fake profiles. But none of these men did not believe that the Ukrainian and Russian women are also afraid of becoming a victim of scam or sex tourism, etc.
You are right, Bobby, there are two sides of the coin in Ukrainian dating.
We should think of it! 🙂