Effective boundaries characterise healthy and strong relationships. Learning to relate with your partner and setting healthy boundaries is the only way to have a long-lasting relationship. It is important to have the questions to ask your partner to set healthy boundaries.
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This article will be talking about some of the examples of relationship boundaries and how to achieve them.
Type of Relationship Boundaries
Boundaries can be defined as limits put in place to protect and maintain your well-being. Relationship boundaries need to be well communicated to ensure that everything is in place and works the way it should.
Your partner will expect a better relationship if you agree to consequences for breaking boundaries set forth.
This section will deal with some of the boundaries to consider in your couple relationship to ensure it runs smoothly. Remember, boundaries are for you and everything that surrounds the two of you.
Generally, relationship boundaries are about keeping and respecting your relationship needs. Resentment can slowly build when you have something to share with your partner, but you decide to keep quiet.
Below are some important and random boundaries that can help you build and keep your relationship healthy and strong.
Physical boundaries refer to personal space, privacy and body. For example, you might be comfortable with PDA (public display of affection) or not enjoy it at all. Therefore, it is important to make your partner aware whenever you are uncomfortable when they kiss you in public.
Sharing your expectations and preferences might feel difficult initially, but it can result in feeling disrespected when not shared. For example, it is easy to set a boundary on your partner not to hit or slap you. The consequence and boundary, in this case, is easy: I will leave if you slap me. However, it is trickier to set boundaries and consequences in other areas.
Sharing your physical boundaries can save and improve your relationship by defining what you are comfortable with during certain situations. Setting boundaries around what you think is right will let you honour your needs, and you will not feel drained.
Emotional boundaries need you to be aware of your feelings. Healthy emotional boundaries need you to understand where your partner ends and where you begin. A boundary is necessary when you notice that you share your partner’s information, like when they are upset.
Take notes when you are ashamed, undervalued, upset, and feeling guilty. You need boundaries when you know these feelings come up due to certain situations or issues.
Sometimes you might feel that your partner does not hear you when you feel upset, and they are trying to fix the situation.
Your partner might be trying to help your situation, but you end up feeling more disappointed and upset. In this case, you need emotional boundaries.
You could say, for example:” When I am low or upset, I would wish you would listen to me first without trying to fix the situation“. Or you could say, “when you try to fix things, when I am upset, I don’t feel good or heard“.
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Financial boundaries deal with money. Financial boundaries can involve separate versus joint accounts, the purchases you make, the amount of discretionary funds each will have, and the amount that goes into savings. These agreements can keep you two on the same page as far as finances are concerned.
Ensure you discuss your financial goals with your partner upfront and avoid it being the point of contention in your relationship.
For example, it could upset you to know that your partner is not contributing to the money you agreed to save in a separate account for a vacation.
Financial boundaries always help!
Intellectual boundaries encompass beliefs and ideals. Boundaries around giving respect to different ideas and views can prevent your feeling from being hurt. Treating or talking to someone as if they don’t understand what you are discussing or saying can ruin your intimacy emotionally.
If you feel some topics are not suitable to be discussed with your partner since you think they will put you down or do not respect your views, intellectual boundaries are necessary.
It is important to set boundaries if you are afraid to talk or share your opinion or views with your partner because of their response.
A boundary around such feelings and behaviours can help you share your views or opinion honestly. You could say: “I always don’t feel good when we disagree politically, and you turn down my opinion like it is nothing“, or “I don’t feel like you value my opinion when we disagree“.
Sexual boundaries deal with your views and expectations on physical intimacy. It involves what is and is not right with you sexually. It is important to discuss boundaries around sexual comments, sex frequency, sex life expectations, unwanted sexual touch, preferred and off-limit sexual acts.
Healthy sexual boundaries involve mutual consent, mutual agreement, and a clear understanding of each other’s desires and limits. For example, if you were abused sexually in your past relationship, you need boundaries around certain sexual positions that trigger that bad experience.
Setting boundaries around what you feel comfortable and uncomfortable with sexually can help maintain your partner’s happy and healthy sex life. You can say: “I enjoy very little certain sexual position since I have a bad experience with it“, or “We need to avoid a certain sexual position for me to enjoy sex“.
Top 6 Good Boundaries for Setting Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship?
Setting strong and healthy personal boundaries is not the key to a successful relationship, but healthy relationship boundaries are! Everyone is entitled to have a healthy, loving, and long relationship with the right partner. If you want strong and healthy relationship boundaries, you need to use the below six boundary-setting ideas.
Did you know that communication is key? Good communication is among the most important elements to having a strong and healthy relationship. Therefore, you need to be honest when setting relationship boundaries to tackle that uncomfortable conversation.
Follow through with Set Consequences
Set consequences for breaking any established boundary. The consequences need to be natural and fit with the target you are trying to achieve. For your relationship boundaries to work, you both need to be ready to follow through with the set consequences.
Listening and trying to understand your partner and their perspective is the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, when you are setting boundaries, take time to listen to your partner’s needs and views (real listening, not waiting to talk). Avoid persuading them to do things they are unconformable about or change their minds on important things.
Trust is the biggest among all elements. All healthy relationship boundaries need trust between partners. Regardless of what you experienced in the past, you need to trust each other to make the right boundaries.
This is the first step of creating healthy relationship boundaries. Let everyone define their values and know what is and is not important. Consider personal and relationship needs. Boundaries are meant to show that you respect yourself enough to know your limits and needs.
One important key to having healthy relationship boundaries is having the support of the other partner. When setting boundaries, you need to have each other back to ensure that no one feels left out or opinions are not heard.
What are Unhealthy Boundaries?
In reality, unhealthy relationship boundaries mean a lack of boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries don’t give you the emotional, mental, or physical satisfaction you require to build a healthy relationship.
Unhealthy boundaries don’t work to serve your interest and are characterised by not being sexual for self but for a partner, telling all, and being overprotective.
For example, feeling that your partner is going out with friends more times per week and keeping quiet about it shows an unhealthy boundary between you.
Boundaries are where you draw the line in your relationship and are important to keep your relationship healthy and to function effectively. When you start seeing things falling out of hand, you need to set boundaries to help both of you save your relationship. .
Our advice to you is to establish serious boundaries when you notice things like being disrespected, feeling hurt, or being taken advantage of.
Respecting and knowing your needs and limits can improve your relationship and keep it strong and healthy.